You've Got to Hide Your Love Away
by amamsy bruh
Summary: ...in the end, it lead them to each other, in the strangest and most complicated of ways. Max/Jude -New Chapter-
1. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

**So this is my first fic that WILL NOT be a one shot. [[Yes, that means MORE than ONE chapter.**

**I'll update as soon as I can.**

**And remember: THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT JUDE/MAX.**

**So REVIEW.**

**--**

When Jude had agreed to sketch Max, he had expected Max to be jumping around and challenge Jude. Jude did not expect Max to sit softly in one place, and actually pose. And it wasn't a silly pose, it was a _real _pose. Max just sat cross-legged on the couch, staring off into space, hair falling into his face...Jude quickly realized that drawing Max would be nothing like drawing Lucy. When he sketched Lucy, it didn't take much effort. He just drew the outline of her body, a smiling face, and long flowing hair. Those were his easiest sketches. But Max...Max was different. Jude realized that he would actually have to go into detail, from his scrawny features, to his piercing blue eyes. Jude was glad Max had shaved his mustache, one less tough detail to deal with.

After finishing the rest of the details, Jude finally came to the toughest of them all: Max's eyes. Jude never could think of the right words to describe them. They just sent shiver's down his spine. They were unnerving. And as Max stared off into space, Jude watched his eyes, blue and shocking. Jude just kept staring at them, not even sketching, until he realized that those blue eyes were looking right back at him.

"Almost done? I can only stay still for so long." Max said with a smile, which illuminated his eyes. Jude quickly added that smile into the drawing. It was something everyone should expirience, even if only on paper.

"Quiet, I'm almost finished." Jude said, smiling a little bit but staying focused on the drawing. "I'm just trying to get your eyes right."

"Oh, _Judey_." Max said, smirking. After a moment or two in silence, he said, "Hm. I have a question for you."

"And that would be?" Jude looked up at him, smirking right back.

"Has anyone ever sketched _you_, Feeney?" Max asked, crossing his arms.

"You mean, like, somebody else drawing while _I _posed?" Jude shook his head. "Ha, never."

"Never say never." Max held out his hands, gesturing at the art supplies. "I want to draw you."

Jude didn't know how to respond. Then again, it wasn't the first time anyone ever asked this. Lucy actually tried to sketch him often, although he always said that she was the muse, and he was the artist. But he never expected Max to ask. And he never actually thought that Max would even want to. Max often surprised him, though.

"Max, you don't want to. You'll get bored easily, I know you." Jude said, trying to find a way out of this. The truth was, when anybody is sketching somebody else, they truly see that person for who they are. Jude didn't want to be so easily figured out. Especially by Max.

"C'mon." Max batted his eyelashes. "I mean, you're just so _handsome_. I must draw you."

Jude sighed. "Aw,_ shit_." He smiled at Max. "Fine, okay. Why not?"

They both stood up and switched their spots. Max settled into the chair that was directly across from Jude on the couch, who simply settled in and smiled at Max. "Okay, sketch away."

Max held the pencil between his fingers and examined Jude for a moment. Where could he start? He drew a circle on the paper, which was supposed to be Jude's face.

_What the fuck am I? A four year old? _Max thought, and quickly erased it. Finally, he looked back at Jude, who's eyes were intently staring at him. Max couldn't help get lost in Jude's chocolate eyes. They were so inviting and warm. Max realized why Lucy was always talking about those eyes.

And for awhile, they just stared at each other. Max's eyes quickly shifted to look at Jude's lips, thin and pink. He blushed. _No, no, no. What the hell am I thinking? _Max blinked and swallowed deep, trying to look away from Jude's intent stare, who wasn't about to back down so easily. _He's my best friend. Not only that, he's my sister's boyfriend. _

"Max?" Jude said with a wide smile. "Is there a problem?"

What Max wanted to say?

_Stop fucking toying with me, Jude. You know exactly what's on my mind._

What Max actually said?

"Shut up, and let me sketch you."

But Max couldn't sketch. He tried to capture Jude's essence on the paper, but all he kept drawing was chicken scratch. Or chicken shit, if you asked Max. He kept feeling Jude's gaze on him, and Max wanted to stare at him back, but he knew if he did, he might say (or do) things that Max should never, ever say (or do) to Jude.

Twenty minutes later, Lucy walked into the apartment and smiled. "Nice to know what got accomplished today."

"I've think I've found my thing." Max said, walking over to Lucy. He watched as Jude stood up and hugged Lucy. Max couldn't believe that he was actually feeling _jealous._ "Well, I'd love to stay and take care of you lovebirds, but I've got to go pick up something."

"Well, actually, I was planning on inviting you to dinner tonight. I mean, it's been awhile since the three of us have hung out together, and I was going to make your favorite, Max: Mac-n-cheese." Lucy smiled at Max. "C'mon. Please?"

Max hugged her. "Fine, but do you need me to pick anything up from the store? I mean," Max looked around the kitchen. "We seem to be lacking liquor."

Lucy smiled and nodded. "I'll start cooking."

As Max was about to walk out of the apartment, Jude jumped up. "I'm gonna go with Max. I need some air."

So Jude and Max walked out of the apartment, awkwardly and silently. Finally, Max said, "So what the hell was that about?"

"Hmm?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Jude. Stop playing these games." Max stopped walking abruptly and crossed his arms.

Jude looked at the ground, then back up into Max's eyes, leaning in closer to Max. "We both know what I want to say. If it's not completely obvious." He shifted backwards a bit. "But there are also some people who could get hurt. And some situations could get messy. So let's just never talk about it again, and pretend like we don't have these...er..."

"No need to continue." Max smiled a bit. "I get it. We'll just pretend that it's nothing."

Both of them knew that there was something more. And neither of them could pretend like it was nothing. Whether or not Jude said it aloud, it was obvious that there was something about Max that Jude needed to figure out. And there was something about Jude that Max needed to figure out. Whether it was how Jude wanted to know what was behind Max's blue eyes, or how Max wanted to know what Jude's pink lips felt like, they just needed to know more about each other.

But "pretend" like it was nothing.


	2. I Want to Hold Your Hand

**Yeahh.**

**The first time I've ever got to do a CHAPTER TWOOO!  
YIPPEE!!**

**And yes, there will be another chapter after. **

**--**

"You know," Prudence said to Max one night as they sat on the rooftop together. "I've noticed that you and Jude haven't been spending all that much time together. Care to explain?" She leaned against her chair, letting the cold wind hit her softly. Max watched her, realizing how Prudence was always spot on. In a crowd, she didn't say much, but she always observed. When you caught her alone, she would question you like there was no tomorrow. Fierce.

"Nothing, really." Max shrugged, figuring he could take the easy road. "We've both just been busy, and I guess we haven't had all that much free time."

Prudence glared at Max. "Ha. Even I know that's complete bullshit." She crossed her arms. "Tell me. Now."

Max smirked. "You're kinda sexy when you're annoyingly inquisitive and slightly pissed off."

"And you're kinda stalling." Prudence punched his arm playfully. "So come on. You're practically like a brother to me, and we tell each other everything."

Max sighed. It was true, he never kept anything from Prudence. She was his confidante, and she knew some things even Jude didn't. So he told her. He told her about the awkward stares and the very weird feelings he was starting to get around Jude. He told her that he had no idea what this meant, but that he wanted more. He told her about "pretending" for Lucy's sake. He told her everything.

When he finished, Prudence closed her mouth, then opened it. Finally, she looked deep into his eyes. "Max, if I tell you something, you have to promise not to jump to conclusions about yourself or Jude. Okay?"

"Fine." Max stammered out nervously.

"That's exactly how I felt about Sadie when I first moved here." Prudence said. She didn't need to say anything more. She had told Max about her lust for Sadie, and how a part of her still held on to that, even though she was still seeing Rita. Max's eyes widened, but it wasn't a complete shock. It didn't take much for him to realize that his feelings for Jude were more than friendly.

"Er, am I interrupting?" The infamous accent was heard from behind them. Max and Prudence turned their heads and saw Jude, his arms wrapped around himself to shield him from the cold. Prudence gave Max a sly smile and hopped up from her chair.

"Nope, not at all." Prudence yawned. "Eh, I'm tired. Gonna hit the hay. G'night, boys."

Prudence walked past Jude, winking at him, and left them alone on the roof. Jude slowly took the seat next to Max, who offered up a small but awkward smile. "Um. Hi." Max stammered.

Jude gave Max the same smile. "H-hello. So, um, I haven't seen you around lately."

Max was about to reply with the same bullshit story he had told Prudence, being so busy and all, but he shook his head. No, this was Jude. And he couldn't be walking on eggshells around Jude. "Jude, what the hell are we doing?"

"I..I don't know." Jude shook his head. "Max, are we ever going to talk about it? Something like that..it means something. You know?"

"Jude." Max fiddled with his hands. "I want to talk about it, but at the same time, I don't know what to say."

_You've been practicing what to say all day, _Jude told himself. _But now is not the time for that. Just act on impulse. Something!_

And without thinking, Jude pulled Max in for what might as well been one of the best kisses of his life. Max finally got to know what Jude's perfect lips felt like, soft and warm, and Jude got to expirience how Max tasted (Coke and cigarrettes) and for a moment in time, there was nothing; there was no New York, there was no Lucy, there was no other world. It was just Jude and Max.

When they pulled apart, Max wasn't sure what to do or say, but he couldn't stop the wide smile from coming onto his face. Jude was beaming as well.

When they leaned back into their chairs, Jude began to hum a song, ".._I'll tell you something..I think you'll understand..when I say that something..I wanna hold your hand..I wanna hold your hand.._" Jude chuckled to himself, still in ecstacy from the kiss. "_..oh please say to me..you'll let me be your man..and please say to me..you'll let me hold your hand.._"

Jude and Max smiled at each other one last time.

"Pretend"? Yeah right.


	3. I Want You

Even though it was her party, Sadie wasn't mingling or doing her usual chit-chat with her company. Nope, she was standing in the corner, eyes peeled on the more interesting situation that was happening right across from her. She was staring at Max and Jude, who were practically inseperable all night. Max was talking animatedly, throwing his hands up in the air, and Jude was laughing widly. There were other people around them, of course, but they didn't seem to care. They were focused on each other. Sadie also noticed that there seemed to be a certain gleam in their eyes, and they seemed to brighten up whenever the other spoke. Sadie knew that they were best friends, but there was something different about this situation.

When Prudence walked by, Sadie grabbed her hand and pulled her over. "Pru, look at that." Sadie said, pointing at Max and Jude.

Prudence looked over and shook her head. "I don't see anything out of the ordinary." Of course she did. But Max had promised her not to tell a soul, and Prudence never, ever broke a promise.

"Oh, please." Sadie shook her head. "Max tells you everything. You must know _something_."

"Sadie, look at what your implying." Prudence tried to laugh. "Max and Jude? _Max and Jude_? Max, who never sleeps with the same girl twice, and Jude, who's hopelessly in love with Lucy. You seriously think there's something up?" Prudence felt satisfied. She was a good liar.

Sadie chuckled and shook her head. "God, you're right. Maybe it's just because they would look good together, I don't know. Plus, I'm already kind of tipsy." She looked over at Max and Jude one more time, and shook her head again. "Jesus. What _was _I thinking?" Sadie sauntered off, and Prudence sighed. She hoped that she wouldn't need to cover up much longer.

About thirty minutes later, when Jude finally seperated himself away from Max long enough to grab a beer, Prudence walked over to him. He smiled at her, still unaware that she knew everything. In fact, Prudence had even seen what happened on the rooftop two days ago. She had peeked through the door. But she decided not to tell Max that part of it.

"Hey, Pru. What's up?" Jude said, a goofy smile plastered on his face as he stole a glance at Max.

"God, you really like him, don't you?" Prudence smirked.

"What?" Jude's attention was all on Prudence. "What are you talking about?"

"Max told me." Prudence crossed her arms. "And for some reason, I'm not all that surprised."

"Max told you?" Jude shook his head and sighed. "But we promised each other not to tell anyone."

"Honestly, do you think I'm the kind of person to go around spilling secrets?" Prudence grinned. "In fact, I just saved your ass. Sadie was getting suspicious, and I had to lie to her."

"We're not all that obvious." Jude muttered.

"Well, you guys are chummier than usual, if you ask me." Prudence had a certain gleam in her eye and she smiled. But then her face got solemn and she said, "But, uh, do you ever plan on telling Lucy?"

Jude, to Prudence's surprised, actually smiled. "Max and I aren't even serious. It was just a small thing. It's not like we're some big deal. It's just..." Jude racked his brain, trying to think of a way to explain. "...something. I don't know how to explain it." He shrugged. "I think we just had some urges we needed to get rid of. That's all. Nothing to bother Lucy with." Jude didn't sound too sure about this. It almost hurt him to say it. But there was possibly no way to describe his "situation" with Max. It was just _something_.

"Hmm. I see." Prudence wasn't buying it either. She was going to continue, but she saw that Lucy had entered the apartment. Jude's back was to Lucy, so he couldn't see her. Lucy was slowly creeping up behind Jude, and she was gesturing Prudence not to tell.

When Lucy was almost behind Jude, he said, "Besides, I'm not really sure about my feelings about--"

Prudence didn't want Jude to say anything that he could him into trouble with Lucy, so she blurted out, "The President? Oh yeah, nobody seems to really think he's doing that well of a job." _Politics?_

Jude furrowed his eyebrows. "The President? I thought we were talking about Ma--"

"_Marriage!_" Prudence exclaimed. "Yeah, how _do _you feel about marriage, Jude?"

Lucy gave up on "surprising" Jude and poked his shoulder. "Marriage?" she squeaked.

Jude whirled around, and his eyes widened. Lucy was supposed to work overtime. Thank God for Prudence. He was becoming more and more grateful to her.

"I know, I know, but my boss let me off early." Lucy shrugged. "So what's this I hear about marriage?"

Jude didn't know how to respond, so he just said, "Um. I'm going to the bathroom." And stalked off.

Lucy smirked. Did Jude actually want to marry her? She was beginning to wonder why he had been acting so weird lately. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was because he _did _want to marry her. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, but she had a feeling she was right. Lucy knew that there was only one person to talk to.

"Max?" Lucy said, walking over to her brother who had just taken a drink from his beer. "I think Jude wants to marry me."

Max's eyes widened as he coughed and the beer he had in his mouth flew out. As he wiped his mouth, he said, "Um, he asked you? Just now?" _The fucker. _

"No, no. But he was talking about it with Prudence, and when I asked him about it, he acted very weird." Lucy beamed. "I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I really think he does. Has he said anything?"

"Nope, not one thing." Max said through clenched teeth.

"Do you think you could ask?" Lucy asked slowly.

Max caught Jude's eye from across the room. "I'll see what I can find out." Max muttered, narrowing his eyes.

Max stood up and walked passed Jude. "Meet me in the closet." Max whispered as he walked by.

A few minutes later, Jude and Max were squished together in the small closet. "Well, okay." Jude said with a small smile. "I'm here. Now, what did you want?"

"What's this I hear about you marrying my sister?" Max snapped. Jude couldn't help but notice how sexy Max got when he was pissed. Jude shook his head. No time for these kind of things.

"What?" Jude rolled his eyes as he remembered what Prudence said. _How _do _you feel about marriage? _Jude shook his head. "_Prudence._"

"What the fuck does she have to do with it?" Max demanded in a hushed voice.

"No, no. It was Prudence's cover. We were talking about you--I can't believe you told her, by the way--and Lucy was right behind me. I was about to say your name, but Prudence saved me by saying 'marriage.' Although now, it's kind of a sticky situation." Jude sighed. "See? I'm innocent."

Max made satisfied noise. "Hmm. Well, Lucy thinks you want to marry her."

"I'll talk to her about it." Jude suddenly smirked. "Well, anyways, what does it matter if I got married? I am entitled, aren't I? I mean, it's not like what we did is ever going to happen again. Right?" He crossed his arms.

Max got a mischevious smile on his face as he leaned in closer to Jude. He leaned in so close to him, Max's lips were practically touching Jude's right ear. He whispered, "I'm not dumb, Jude. I know you're dying to kiss me again." Jude shuddered.

Max was about to lean back, but Jude pulled him back closer. Max was already halfway there. If Jude just moved his face a fraction closer, their lips would meet. Jude knew this was a risky situation, considering anyone could open the closet door, but Jude knew also knew that there was irresistable Max, waiting for him. And something about knowing that Max wanted Jude just as much as Jude wanted Max gave him an energetic buzz throughout his body. _Fuck it. _Jude smirked as he leaned in, but just when they were about to engage in what could've been a rather hot kiss, Prudence swung open the door.

When she saw them, she had to laugh. They looked like deer caught in headlights. "God, you two. Couldn't you have waited?" But when she looked over her shoulder, she whispered, "Well, Jude, Lucy's looking for you, and she's kind of walking over here, so you might want to hide Max."

Without a word, Max hid himself behind a pile of coats. Lucy appeared next to Prudence and smiled. "I've been looking for you everywhere." She shook her head and added sarcastically, "How stupid of me not to look in the closet."

"Sorry, Luce. I was just looking for my coat." Jude shrugged. "I guess it's not in here." He slowly walked out of the closet, and Lucy wrapped her arms around him as they walked away from Max, who was watching them intently.

Max shuddered at what just happened. One thought was crossing through his mind as he watched Jude in the arms of his sister: _I want you...I want you so bad.._

Jude looked back at Max, who looked hopeless and almost jealous, and he still felt that energetic zap he had felt when Max was so close to him, only moments earlier. Jude looked away quickly, but one thought was still on his mind as well: _I want you so bad it's driving me mad, it's driving me mad._


	4. Do You Want to Know a Secret?

Inspiration often came to Jude in the most sudden of moments. Like now, when Jude looked outside the window to see that it was almost sunset, he remembered how beautiful the docks were at this time. He gathered up his sketchbook and started walking. When he got to the docks, he froze. Somebody had already beaten him there.

Jude smiled softly as he examined Max, who was sitting alone at the edge. Max looked contemplative, and Jude stepped back. He didn't want Max to know he was there. Jude studied the scene and realized how unbelievably perfect it was: there was a beautiful sunset about to fall into the glittering seas, and there was Max, with his scraggily hair and scrawny features, who didn't seem to fit in the scene at all, but at the same time, that's what made it perfect...different..._unique_. Jude didn't know if this would make sense to anyone else, but it made perfect sense inside his head.

Jude slowly began to sketch, from the beautiful seas to the setting sun to the completely out of place Max. When Jude finally finished, he figured that now he could make his presence known. With a smirk on his face, he rolled his pencil over to Max so that it just barely hit his hand. Max turned around, first looking at the charcoal stained pencil, and then his eyes went up and brightened. "What brings you here?" Max asked as he beamed at Jude, who sat down next to him.

"Inspiration. Creativity." Jude shrugged. "You."

Max shook his head and looked over at the sketch. "Hmm. Another masterpiece?" Max snatched it out of Jude's hands and looked at it. "Why, I must say, who _is _that handsome fellow?" He smirked and handed it back to Jude. "Well, Feeney, with sketches like that you might have a future in the art world."

Jude rolled his eyes as he set it aside, and his eyes were drawn to the sunset. Max looked over at Jude, who looked almost godly, with the light reflected from the water onto his face and causing his brown eyes to shine. Max swiftly scooted over so that he was closer to Jude. Jude looked back at him and realized how much closer he was. Jude scooted closer too, and now there was no space between them. They just looked at each other for a moment as the grins on their faces slowly spread. Max moved his face closer to Jude, and Jude moved his face closer to Max. Soon enough, their faces were close together and their foreheads were touching. But that was it.

"You know," Max said in a low voice. "I just want to know: why do you keep sketching _me_?"

Jude smirked, which for some reason caused Max to blush. "Like you don't know." Jude replied in the same voice. Then he leaned in closer. "It's insane how completely infatuated with you I've become.."

Max smiled widely, thought for a second, then mutteed, "It's insane how much I want to kiss you right now." And moved his face closer and placed his lips against Jude's.

Jude happily obliged and kissed him back. This kiss was better than their kiss on the rooftop. The kiss on the rooftop was too quick to be filled with passion, too awkward to really mean anything. Now, _this _kiss...maybe it was because it was filled with all the passion that wanted to say out loud, but never did. Maybe it was because there was the sunset and the ocean. And maybe it was because there was really something there between these two. But neither of them were willing to pull back and let it end. When Max would feel Jude begin to fade off, he would reel him back in with a harder kiss, and vise versa. Finally, after what felt like years, they pulled apart, both grinning and blushing. They stared at each other for a moment until Max leaned his head against Jude's shoulder and began to croon, "_Listen..do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Closer..let me whisper in your ears..the words you long to hear..I'm.." _Max stopped. He could feel Jude tense up. Both of them knew the words that would come out of Max's mouth.

_Could I really say it? _Max thought. Sure, it would make sense to say it now, with the beautiful scenery, and with a kiss like that. But would he mean it tomorrow? The next day? Hell, would he even mean it three hours later? He looked up at Jude, who was looking at him with wide eyes, and those eyes were filled with want. Wanting to hear those words. And Max then realized that if he didn't mean it tomorrow, the next day, or three hours later, he would mean it in that moment, and that just felt right.

Max put his head back on Jude's shoulder, with Jude's chin resting on top of his head, and murmured, "_..in love with you._"

--

**EEK!  
For some reason, this was my FAVOURITE CHAPTER TO WRITE.**

**At least for now.**

**D**

**I'll update soon.**


	5. It's Only Love

Max couldn't sleep that night. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept seeing Jude's face, smiling back at him. Max wished he could go back to that moment, where he felt so safe and happy. Nothing bad could happen when he was with Jude, and that was true. He remembered when he saw Jude for the first time in a year. They had ran to each other, squeezed tight, and Max never wanted to let go. A small smile made its way onto Max's face as he remembered that moment.

Max kept hearing Jude's voice in his ears..._It's insane how completely infatuated with you I've become. _

Max sighed, rolled over on his bed, and looked at his alarm clock. It was four in the morning. Max didn't need to talk to Jude exactly. He just needed to hear his voice.

Max picked up the phone he had in his room (Sadie let him have his own extension) and slowly dialed Jude's number. Max just hoped he wouldn't wake Lucy.

"Hello?" Jude answered, sounding just as awake as Max did.

"Jude? What are you doing awake?" Max said, smirking on the other line.

Jude leaned back on the couch, where he had been sitting and looking over the sketch he had done of Max earlier today. "This coming from the person who called _me_."

"I didn't expect you to answer." Max replied casually. "But I still want to know why you're awake."

"Truth?" Jude grinned. "I couldn't sleep. I kept having odd...dreams." _Of you, in case you hadn't guessed. _

"Hmm...Jude, are you holding the sketch of me?"

"Why wouldn't I be holding it?" Jude replied in a sly voice. "It represents a certain moment in time." He laughed softly. "With you."

Max smiled and got the sudden case of butterflies. Max hated sounding like a girl, but he knew this crush he had on Jude was slowly developing into something more. He wanted him, he lusted for him, and goddamit, he might even be in love with him. "Meet me somewhere."

"That really narrows it down." Jude smiled and thought for a second. "Meet me...at Katz. That'll be open now, right?"

"It never closes." Max answered. "And I'll see you there."

--

Thirty minutes later, Jude saw Max walk into the diner, in a coat and scarf, shivering. Jude smiled as he walked in. "Hello, hello." Jude greeted Max as he sat down across from him. "Cold?"

Max gave Jude a dry smirk, and then he said, "So..the dreams? Tell me about them."

Jude leaned back in his chair, a mischevious gleam in his eye. "Do you want the toned down version or the completely dirty version?"

"The real version would be nice."

"I just kept reliving the kiss. And that moment. How I felt, and such." Jude sighed and gave Max a sheepish look. "I mean, it's hard to sleep when your heart is skipping beats."

Max caught his breath, fiddled with his fingers, and said, "That's basically my story. I don't know what it is Jude." He shook his head. "I have no fucking clue what to do. I'm..I'm crazy about you, but it's so hard, because well, you're dating my sister. A part of me doesn't want to hurt her, and another part of me wants you for myself."

Jude sighed. "I know, I know." Jude didn't want to talk about Lucy. Bringing her up would only complicate things. Jude beamed. "So, uh, you're _crazy _about me?"

"What can I say?" Max shrugged. "Besides, I had to think of something that could match up to '_It's insane how completely infatuated with you I've become._' I think they both fall under the same category."

"And that category would be?"

Max smiled, brushed his hand against Jude's, which caused butterflies in the both of them, and said, "The extreme-butterflies-hearts-racing-I-want-you category." Max nodded. "Yeah, something like that."

---

About an hour later, Max walked Jude backed to his apartment. The red sky signaled that the sun would be rising soon, and both of them were feeling rather drowsy.

They stopped in front of Jude's apartment, grinning at each other. Max reached over and kissed Jude's cheek. When he was about to pull away, Jude caught him and kissed him hard on the lips. When they pulled apart, without a word, they had those same goofy smiles on their faces and slowly parted ways.

Maybe if they had actually looked up, they would've seen Lucy's face in the window, watching them with tearful eyes


	6. Every Little Thing

When Jude opened the door to his apartment, Lucy was standing by the window, the tears already wiped from her face. She looked at him, and was almost crushed by the satisfied look on his face. What could she say? Could she just blurt out that she knew? That she had seen everything? That she really couldn't believe that he had done this to her? God, how _could _he do this to her? He came all the way back from Liverpool; she climbed a building. They were supposed to be in love. She knew she loved him, but did he love her? _Of course he doesn't, _Lucy said to herself, _he just kissed my brother. _She blinked back tears as Jude walked over to her, kissed her cheek and murmured 'Good morning, beautiful' in her ears, and walked into the bathroom and started the shower. Why hadn't she said anything? Maybe because she knew if she spoke the words out loud, it would mean that this was all true. And at six o'clock in the morning, this was not a realization she wanted to make. She closed her eyes, shook her head, and continued on with getting ready for work.

Lucy had left before Jude had gotten out of the shower. Not that it really mattered to either of them; Lucy had no intentions of speaking to Jude that morning, and Jude was too busy daydreaming over Max.

When Jude got out of the shower, he realized that he still wasn't tired, even after running off with Max in the middle of the night. Jude's lips were still tingling from the kiss, and he hoped Max's were too.

A few moments later, the telephone rang. Jude lunged to answer it. "Hello?"

"Still awake, I see." Max, hyped up on three cups of coffee and the energy from a breathtaking kiss, asked in a high voice. "Well, you should come over. Prudence and I are bored since Sadie left to run some errands."

"Don't you two work?" Jude asked, but he was already getting ready to go.

"Don't make me laugh." Max replied dryly, then added with a hint of a smile in his voice, "See ya."

--

"How long are you two going to keep this a secret?" Prudence asked as Jude settled himself on the couch next to Max. Rather closed, she noted. "I mean, it's not like this would surprise anyone."

"Except Lucy." Jude said with a sigh. "Look, we're just keeping this a secret until we feel its right to let everyone know. That's not a problem, is it?"

Prudence rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright. I just don't want to see anyone get hurt, you know."

"Nobody won't." Max said casually. "Now, new subject--"

Max was interrupted by the telephone ringing on the coffee table. When he answered it, he smirked and handed it to Prudence. "It's Rita."

Prudence grabbed the phone in a flash. "Hey, hon...am I busy? Not particularly.." She flashed a smile at Jude and Max. "...meet you where? Hm, alright...'kay, see you then. Bye." She hung it up and looked at the boys. "I guess you two get some alone time. Rita wants me to meet her at her apartment." She shrugged and without another word she left. Jude looked over at Max and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"What exactly are you thinking of doing, Feeney?" Max asked innocently, but the smirk on his face said otherwise. He leaned over a placed a swift kiss on Jude's lips. He pulled back before Jude could kiss him back.

"You tease." Jude muttered with a grin, and leaned over to kiss Max the same way he had kissed Jude, except Jude's kiss was longer. Max kissed him back, and soon enough, they had a repeat performance of their kiss just yesterday. The passion was still there. God, could there be a limit to how much lust could be in a relationship? Max wondered. Oh, fuck it. Even if there was, Max was never one to limit himself. Jude ran his fingers through Max's hair, and Max stroked Jude's cheek. They both had racing pulses, and that only heightened the kiss.

"_Oh._"

Jude and Max pulled apart and looked at the doorway, where Sadie was standing with wide eyes and almost the hint of a smile on her face. _I knew it, _she said to herself, but out loud she just repeated, "_Oh_."

"Shit, doesn't anybody knock anymore?" was Max's first reply. Jude's faced turned a deep shade of red.

"Not when you own a key, honey." Sadie said as she shut the door. When she turned around, she crossed her arms and smirked. "How long?"

This was a tough question for both Max and Jude. How long had they been lusting for each other? For Max, it was since the day he saw Jude in bed with his sister, and a surge of jealously came over him. Yeah, that was it for Max. For Jude, it was when he was in Liverpool, and all thoughts keep leading to Max, wondering if he was okay, wondering if he ever thought of him, wondering if he would ever see that smirking face again.

But the question truly was: how long had they been acting on their lust?

"About a week." Max said, trying not to smile as Jude's hand brushed against his.

"Mhm." Sadie nodded, and she tried to gather up all the facts. "...and Prudence knows, right?"

"Of course."

"But Lucy doesn't." Sadie added. They didn't need to answer, so she continued with, "So I'm supposed to keep this a secret?"

"That would be nice."

Sadie nodded again. "Well, alright." she said in an upbeat voice, as if she had agreed to go on a roadtrip or partying with rockstars. And without another comment, she walked into her bedroom and shut the door, as if it were any other day.

Jude and Max looked at each other, shrugged, and continued on with their passionate kiss. When the kiss was over, they stretched out on the couch, Max on top of Jude, and their eyes began to close. Before they drifted off the sleep, Jude murmured, "_Yes..I know I'm a lucky guy..I remember the first time I was lonely without him...can't stop thinking about him now.._"

--

**This is what I like to call a "filler" chapter of sorts.**

**Obvious lyric change for obvious reasons.**

**D**


	7. What Have You Done?

About an hour later, Jude slowly opened his eyes. He looked down, where Max had nuzzled his head on his chest, and he was sleeping soundly, with a hint of a smile on his face. Jude smiled at Max. God, this boy was really getting under his skin, wasn't he? Jude considered his feelings for Max. No, Jude did not consider himself '_gay._' Jude knew that if any other guy had tried the little escapades that Max did, Jude would've punched them. No, no, so it wasn't that. There was just something about Max that Jude never wanted to let go of. But then again, Jude _did _have a conscious, and sometimes, Jude actually did feel bad for Lucy. When he compares the two Carrigans in his mind, he always feels like he talking down to Lucy. To Jude, Lucy was nothing short of perfect. She was beautiful, intelligent, funny, sweet, and, on top of that, she loved him. How did he repay her? By making out with her brother.

_Don't think about her. _Jude told himself. _It complicates things. _

Jude closed his eyes and forgot all about Lucy. Instead, he decided to question himself about his feelings for Max. There was no doubt he cared about him, that he wanted him on a daily basis, but love? It was a questionable thought. Jude _was _risking everything for Max, and you have to really want someone to do that. And what was it about Max that made Jude not care about anything else in the world? Was it the way he made you laugh when you didn't even want to smile? Was it the way he understood things that nobody could? Or was it the way his head fit so nicely on Jude's chest, like he was always meant to rest there? It was all of them. And so much more.

_So you do love him. _Jude smiled at this realization.

A moment later, Max shifted. He opened his eyes, almost forgetting where he was for a second, until he could smell the scent of cologne and charcoal, and he felt Jude's arm on the small of his back. Max smiled softly.

"Awake?" Jude asked lightly.

"Mhm." Max replied as he moved his head so that he was looking into Jude's soft eyes.

Jude touched his cheek and smile. _Tell him. Tell him. _Jude's stomach churned. Should he? "Max, I.." Jude fumbled for the right words. _Tell him you love him. Tell him you're in love with him. JUST. TELL. HIM. _"I..I.." Jude sighed. Max had a knowing look in his eyes. He knew what Jude was going to say, and something inside of him couldn't wait to hear the words. "I...I'm hungry." _You pussy. _

Max's face fell. His eyes went from knowing to disappointed. Max nodded and placed his head back on Jude's chest. "Um, yeah. Me too."

---

About thirty minutes later, Max and Jude walked into the diner where Lucy worked, only to find Prudence and Rita finishing their orders up with Lucy. They happily walked over and joined the girls. Prudence and Rita brightened when they saw them; Lucy's face fell. The truth was, Lucy still had no idea how to handle this. She just planned on forgetting it ever happened, and maybe, just maybe one day this would all be done and over with. Yes, Lucy hated girls who caught their boyfriends cheating and never did anything about it, but now Lucy understood why: You could never put yourself through that. Lucy pushed it out of her mind. This was Jude's last chance to prove that he cared about her more than Max.

"Hey." Lucy said in a upbeat voice to Jude. "Um, you want anything?"

Jude looked at the menu and shrugged. "I don't know what I want yet."

_No shit. _Lucy wanted to snap, but she just smiled and said, "Well, whenever you decide what you want, you tell me, 'kay?" Lucy meant that in more ways than one. She walked back into the kitchen, but kept her eyes on the table.

"You know what I haven't had in such a long time?" Prudence randomly pondered out loud. "I haven't had sushi in forever."

Max couldn't resist. He snorted and said, "I beg to differ." He glanced from Rita to Prudence mischievously.

Jude laughed out loud as Prudence rolled her eyes. "You are such a pervert," Prudence said crossly, even though there was a hint of a smile on her face. Rita's cheeks were beet red.

Jude smiled at Prudence. "Well, I haven't either, so I really shouldn't be laughing."

Rita smirked. "Well, _of course _you haven't." She chuckled. "A little birdie told me that you prefer beef."

"Max's beef!" Prudence blurted out with laughter. The two girls were laugh hysterically, and the boys couldn't help but giggle. A moment later, Lucy arrived with Prudence and Rita's order, and she looked at Jude.

"I'm going on break in five minutes. Meet me outside?"

"Definitely, love." Jude said with a smile. When Lucy walked away, Max smacked Jude's arm. "_What?_"

"Jude, I dunno... I mean, I think you should tell her." Max said, looking down. "We can't do this to her."

"Max, I'll tell her when it feels right." Jude ruffled his hair. "And now...she's _working. _That'd be pretty heartless of me, don't you think?"

Max didn't answer. He almost looked sad. Jude assured him with, "But I will tell her. Soon."

----

"Jude," Lucy said, wrapping her arms around him. "I need to ask you something."

Jude smiled at her and held her tight. "Ask."

"Do you...do you still love me?" Lucy wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer, but it was too late.

Jude pondered for a second. He obviously did. A part of him still got the butterflies whenever the touched, including just a second ago when she hugged him. His heart still skipped beats around her. So, yes, he did. "Of course I do." He kissed her softly on the lips. "Why would you think I wouldn't?"

Lucy held her tongue, biting back what she wanted to really say. She just shook her head. "You've just been acting weird lately. And I don't know, I just felt confused." She nuzzled her head in his chest, the same place Max was not too long ago. "I don't want to lose you. Because I _do_ love you."

"Lucy, you should know that I'm smitten with you. Hell, I came all the way back for you, and I didn't do it for nothing." Jude smiled at her. He hadn't lied to her once in this conversation. At least not by much. Truth was, he did love her. He never wanted to stop loving her. It just so happened that he might love Max too.

"But how can I_ know _you love me?"

Jude didn't know exactly how to reply. He wanted to say so much, he wanted to prove to her that he did love her, no matter what he would have to tell her in the future. But Lucy didn't deserve to be lied to and betrayed. She deserved to have someone who loved her for who she was. But Jude _does _love her, for who she is and for who is she bound to become. So Lucy needed proof how much he cared? She needed proof for how much he loved her? Okay, Jude could give her proof.

He opened his mouth and said, "Luce, I have to tell you something..."

---

About twenty minutes later, Jude and Lucy walked back into the diner and joined their friends. Max looked at the couple with questioning eyes. They seemed rather happy.

"So...what's the deal?" Max asked, trying not to sound like he cared.

Jude couldn't even look at Max, but Lucy gleefully smiled and proclaimed, "Jude asked me to marry him."

---

YEEEK.

LONG CHAPTER, I KNOW.

UPDATING SOON, I PROMISE.


	8. What Is and What Never Should Be

The entire table was silent for a few moments, until Prudence said with a small smile, if only for Lucy's sake, "Wow! That's fantastic! So you guys are gonna get married soon?"

"I don't really know, actually. I mean, we're gonna have to tell my parents, and then of course, we'll have to find a way to tell Jude's mother...I guess we're not going to really rush anything." Lucy smiled widely and kissed Jude on the cheek. "Well, I have to get back to work. Bye, guys." Lucy practically hopped over to the back of the restaurant. When she was gone, Prudence narrowed her eyes at Jude, Rita just kept quiet, and Max kept his head down, not even looking up at Jude.

"So." Prudence crossed her arms. "Would you like to inform us what the fuck is on your mind? Hmm?"

Jude wanted to be mad at Prudence, but he couldn't. Prudence was only defending Max, because Max, for once, was at a loss for words. Jude just sighed and said, "Can I just talk to Max alone?"

Prudence was about to argue, but Rita touched her shoulder gently and shook her head. Prudence and Rita walked out of the restaurant, leaving an awkward silence between Jude and Max. Jude touched Max's hand. Max didn't pull away, but he didn't exactly respond either. He just sat there, head face down, not one word leaving his lips. Jude wanted him to say something. Silence from Max was excruciating. "First of all," Jude said softly, "I want you to know that this doesn't really change anything between us. I mean, it's not like I don't feel the same way about you--"

"Then why did you do it?" Max looked up, only to reveal red, almost tearful eyes. "You're not only fucking around with my feelings, but my sister's too! God, do you think this is all a game, Jude?"

"No--"

"Really? Because you sure act like it is. Now, I can't tell you to call it off or anything. You're just gonna have to decide what you want, man. Just don't fucking do it at my expense." Max stood up and headed towards the bathroom. When got inside, he shut the door behind him, sighed, and slumped to the floor and promptly began to cry.

---

"I still don't see what the problem is. Shouldn't we be happy they're engaged?" Jojo, the only person who didn't know about Max and Jude, pleaded to Sadie and Prudence, while they sipped their beers bitterly. It was a week after the news was announced, and Lucy held a small get together to celebrate. Ever since that day in the diner, Max swiftly avoided Jude and his constant phone calls. In fact, Max was currently sitting in the corner, sipping beer, and he would often gaze at Jude, but when Jude looked at him, he would look away. Lucy tried to ignore this and act happy.

"You don't get it, Jojo." Sadie murmured. "Jude is just being..selfish. And stupid." She pointed at Max and whispered to Prudence, "God. They are totally smitten with each other. Why can't they just admit that? I mean, you should've seen how cute they were on the couch together, all asleep on each other and such." Sadie smiled a bit at the memory. "But I don't know...Lucy deserves to be happy, so we can't be too bitter about it."

"True." Prudence shrugged. "Maybe we should just let it go. Max and Jude will work everything out. Maybe they can't be together, but they're still gonna be best friends." She looked at Sadie. "Right?"

Sadie shrugged sadly, and looked over at resentful Max. _How the fuck could he do this to me? _Max was pissed, had been for a week. The day he was told the news, Max decided to forget all about Jude, get drunk, and get a girl into bed. He was almost successful, until he leaned over to kiss the girl on her cheek, and suddenly had a flash of Jude. Max had pulled away quickly and left the bar without a word. He had been secluded in his room ever since, until Prudence informed him that there was a party for Lucy and Jude, and she desperately wanted Max to tell Jude how he felt, and maybe they could work it out. Max was pulled over here, and the moment he walked through the door, he gave Lucy a quick hug, and sulked in the corner.

"Bullshit." He murmured under his breath. He rolled his eyes, finished off his beer, and said to no one in particular, "I'm leaving."

Max grabbed his coat and scarf and headed out the door into the cold snow. He could feel Prudence's eyes on him as he left, but he didn't care. Nothing really mattered unless he had Jude.

No more than two minutes later, Jude felt like something was weird, as if the room was off balance. His eyes shot over to Max's corner, which was empty. He walked over to Desmond and asked, "Hey, where'd Max go?"

Desmond shrugged. "I dunno. I think I saw him leave."

"Shit." Jude muttered as he grabbed his jacket, running out the door and leaving the party behind. Lucy watched him leave, but didn't stop him. Whatever he needed to do, it seemed urgent. Jude ran for awhile, until he saw Max's familiar figure at the doorsteps of his apartment. Jude ran after him.

"Max!" Jude called out. When he got to him, he was out of breath, so he stammered out, "W-why did you l-leave?"

Max rolled his eyes. "I didn't seem to really be needed." He narrowed his eyes. "Or acknowledged, for that matter."

"Max, honestly." Jude said, still slightly out of breath. "You think I don't care?"

Max crossed his arms. "Oh, I'm sorry, you do? I didn't exactly get the memo, especially when you asked my sister to marry you, only an hour after kissing me." He walked up the steps. "Yeah, so sorry I didn't get the catch that you 'care', Jude."

"Max," Jude said. "Look, can I just talk to you? Please?"

Max sighed, then gestured for Jude to come up to the apartment with him. When they got inside, Max looked at Jude expectantly. Jude closed his eyes, sighed, and said, "Okay, look, I get it. I fucked up. I shouldn't have asked her, I shouldn't have. It's just...she was waiting for me to ask. I couldn't let her down. I felt bad for already screwing her over by being with you, I..I just didn't want to let her down again."

"So...you don't want to let her down by asking her to marry you, even though you don't want to?" Max said bitterly. "Wow, it's so hard to believe that I can't see the logic in that."

"Yeah, I know it makes absolutely no sense." Jude said, shaking his head. "But you have to know that I still care. I always will."

"Yes, Jude, I know you _care_." Max spat back. "Can you tell me the word I _actually_ want to hear?" Max knew it was very clear to Jude what word he was waiting for.

Jude opened his mouth, closed it, and then he opened it again, "Fine, Max. You wanna know the truth?" Jude took a step closer to him. "The truth is, you're quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened in my life. And yeah, that probably sounds insane and stupid, but it's the truth. You happen to be always on my mind. You happen to bring a smile to my face. You just happen to make everything perfect. And if you need me to say it, then fine, I'll say it: I _am _in love with you! Okay? I am." Jude shook his head. "Insanely in love."

Max paused for a second. Then he leaned in and kissed Jude square on the lips, but neither of them pulled apart. They didn't stop kissing. They didn't stop when they slowly started moving over to Max's bed; they didn't stop when they fell over onto the bed; they didn't stop when Max pulled off Jude's shirt, and when Jude pulled off Max's shirt; they didn't stop when the pants came off; they paused just long enough for Max to whisper, "I love you, too" in Jude's ear; but after that, they didn't stop. They went on and on and forgot about everything. All they knew was that they felt good, and they should never stop.

When it was over, they lay side by side, their chests moving up and down, sweat glistening on their foreheads. Jude couldn't believe he had actually gotten this far with Max. Or any male, for that matter.

"So, did we just, uh...?" Max asked.

"Yep."

"And, did we just tell each that we lo--"

"Yes."

"So...do you think we'll do it again sometime?"

Jude thought for a second, until he looked at Max and said, "_Oh yeah_." That caused them both to collapse with laughter. When they stopped, Jude propped himself up on one arm and looked into Max's blue eyes. "Jesus, Max. What are we going to do?"

Max smirked a bit. "We could be mature adults, stop this little game, pretend like it never happened, and eventually move on."

Jude smirked back. "As mature as that is, is there another plan?"

"Canada?"

Jude giggled and ruffled Max's hair. "Really, though..."

"We could..." Max couldn't even bring himself to finish the sentence, but the look in his eye told Jude everything: _We could keep sneaking behind Lucy's back, and eventually break her heat. _Max hated the thought. Sure, he loved Jude and always wanted to be around him, but at Lucy's expense? Lucy, who had helped him sneak out countless times back home. Lucy, who visited Max in the hospital more than anybody else. Lucy, who worked extra hours just to pay Max's rent for him, right along with her own. Lucy, who had held him in her arms the nights he would have nightmares and flashbacks from 'Nam, and sang to him the same lullabies their mother did so many years ago. And then there was Jude's Lucy; the Lucy who took care of him when he was sick. The Lucy who supported his art so many times, while he couldn't even compliment the speeches she wrote. And the Lucy who made the fatal mistake of simply loving him.

Neither of them were willing to say this out loud, so Jude just looked over at Max, stroked his cheek, and murmured, "Yeah..I know."

----

**Gah.**

**Don't trip about the song title not being a Beatles one.**

**It works doesn't it?  
[BTW: Just watched the ending of the Other Boleyn Girl, which Jim Sturgess is in...for those of you who have seen it...OMG HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO JIM??!?! Or, George, his character name.**


	9. Michelle

About an hour later, Max was walking Jude home. Half the way there, Max was thinking of a way to tell Jude what was on his mind, and that was something that bugged Max...a lot. Usually, Max wouldn't have to think of a way to put sentences together, but when it came to Jude, Max had to think before he spoke, little to Jude's knowledge. Finally, after Jude had begun to actually notice the silence, Max muttered, "So, you're really going to marry her?" It was an actual question, with a hint of desperation to it.

"Yeah, mate. I love her, and I can't let her down." Jude shook his head angrily. "And I feel like a total _fucking_ prick. An _asshole_. I go around telling her that I love her. Then I tell you that I love you. Then I fucking sleep with you, and then what? I realize I'm still smitten with your sister, and that I still have to marry her." Jude stuffed his hands into his pockets. "That's the fucking thing about you Carrigans—you're perfect and impossible to let go of. Both of you are."

Max's eyes were wide, but he looked ahead so that Jude couldn't see. The fact is, he wasn't expecting all of that. "Jude, we need to stop this." That caused Jude to stop walking and face Max. Max continued, "We don't actually love each other, so let's just stop playing that game. I mean, we love each other as friends, even brothers. But whatever we said back in my apartment...it was just a moment. There's a word for what we have--_had--_and it's called 'lust.' We were just both confused." Max barely believed a word he said, and he didn't expect Jude too. But if they could just fool themselves that they did for a second, maybe this whole thing would be easier. "We can stop this now. We can. I mean, we can't pretend like it never happened, but we can just..I dunno, move on." Max looked Jude straight in the eye. "It was silly at first. Just a little game. But everything is different now. You're going to marry Lucy, and I couldn't live with myself if we went on with this behind her back. And you said you feel like a prick for it. So let's just forget it."

Jude thought for a second, nodded, and murmured, "Yeah. We could."

Max shrugged as they stopped in front of Jude's apartment building. "We _are_." And with that, he smiled softly and walked off into the dark. That was Max; one second, he was totally rational, giving a bad situation good logic, and the next second, he was switch back into mysterious, free-spirited Max who always got the last word. It was like he had two personalities: the war veteran who was slowly maturing and the drunken teenager who always loved a good game of golf, especially on a rooftop above glass windows.

----

"Lucy?" Jude said as he slowly opened the door, realizing that all of the party guests have gone. He shut the door, and looked over at his future wife. Lucy was sitting down on the couch, flipping through a newspaper, which of course had the war splattered on the front page. Jude walked over to her, almost angry that after all she knew, she was still trying to learn more information about this war. He sat down next to her and slowly pulled the newspaper out of her hands. "Now is not the time to be reading that kind of stuff, love. We're not ready yet."

"Jude, it's just.." Lucy shook her head. "I know what it can do to people. I know that it can take away people you love so much, and sometimes, you don't know if you can ever get them back. And I..I've been through so much. We all have, especially Max. I just don't want anybody else to ever feel the way I have felt." Lucy looked over and stroked Jude's face. Her demeanor changed and she looked a bit quizzical. "By the way, where were you?"

"Max was drunk, incredibly drunk. Wobbling down the stairs and such. I walked him home, and then I got some coffee." Jude hated lying, and was partially glad that he wouldn't have to lie to her anymore. He hoped. Jude grasped her hands and said, "I know I haven't exactly been the best person in the world, but you must know that I love you. I always will. I'm sorry if I don't say it enough."

Lucy actually smiled and kissed his cheek. "I'm not the kind of girl who needs to hear you say it everyday, Jude. I'm just the kind of girl who needs a reminder every now and then." She stood up, yawned, and said, "I'm going to take a shower." As she walked into the bathroom, she didn't know that Jude had followed her. "_Jude_!" Lucy giggled.

"I thought that was an invitation." Jude chuckled, but still didn't leave the bathroom. "And I happened to remember that I have yet to shower, so..."

Lucy smiled. "Well, then. By all means, you are welcome to mine."

Jude raised his eyebrows, and they both disrupted into a fit of laughter. Jude then realized that Max, in some way, was right: sure, what they had was nice, but Jude would always want to come home to sweet Lucy. He was utterly in love with her, and, at the moment, Jude couldn't wait to marry her.

----

Jealous? Angry? No, Max wasn't any of these things. Well, that's what he tried to tell himself as he drank away his sorrows—no, not sorrows. Sorrows would mean that he was sad, and that would lead to regret. He didn't regret what he said; it was best for both him and Jude. And besides, didn't all of those philosophers say stuff about doing what's right doesn't always benefit you? Or something along those lines, Max was too shit faced to really have a coherent thought. He was the only person in the bar, until a pretty red haired girl walked in and sat two chairs away from him. She ordered a beer, and sipped it slowly.

"You know," Max said turning to her. "I don't usually hit on girls in bars, but considering you're the only girl here, I think you've just one yourself a free round of flirting."

The girl looked at him, rolled her eyes, and looked away. Max tried again, "Okay, so you're one of those 'original' girls. Yeah, okay, you're playing hard to get, though you will never admit it, because if you do, you will somehow think you let your guard down, and that would throw off your entire bitchy image, right?"

The girl slightly smiled. "You're too drunk to even argue with."

"I'll stop drinking if you tell me your name." Max said, smiling back.

"Why? You won't even remember meeting me tomorrow." The girl shrugged. "Whatever. My name is Rose."

"Mm." Max nodded. "Pretty name. I'm Max. Max Carrigan."

"I hope you're not expecting my last name." Rose smirked. "I'm sorry, I gonna have to know you at least another twenty four hours before you get _that_ out of me."

Max laughed a little bit. Through his drunken haze, he could still see that this girl was beautiful and she was funny. Max guessed that they had talked for another few hours at the bar, and Max had lied; he didn't stop drinking after he learned her name, but it's not like she stopped either. Max could only remember little bits and pieces of that night: when Rose had touched his shoulder at one point, when she smiled at him, when she said something so funny, he fell out of his chair...or he might've fallen on his own, it was hard to know. All Max knew was that he woke up with a throbbing hang over at one in the afternoon. When walked out into the kitchen to get some coffee, he saw a redhead (god, she looked familiar) already chatting with Prudence. When they both looked over, the girl smiled and said, "Good morning, Max."

At first, Max just nodded, until it finally hit him that it was Rose. He turned around and faced her. "It's—it's you."

"Yeah, it's me, alright." Rose giggled.

Max shook his head, trying to remember her name. Finally, he just asked, "Did we..er..have sex?"

Rose looked offended. "No! You were so wasted, I felt bad for you, so you drunkenly told me your address--gave me the wrong apartment four times, as a result—and I walked you home. I slept on the couch, just in case you needed me." She smirked. "Just because I came off as a 'bitch' at first doesn't mean I am."

Max smiled. "Oh, okay...and I felt like an ass for asking, but what exactly is your name again?"

"I figured you wouldn't remember it." She smirked. "That's why I told you a completely fake name. My name is actually Michelle."

Max nodded. "Michelle." He took a drink of Prudence's coffee, who didn't even notice. She was too busy catching up with Michelle and Max's situation. "Well, I guess I owe you a thanks."

"No problem." Michelle shrugged. "I should get going now, but, if you look somewhere in your pants pocket after I leave, you'll find my number." She smiled. "Maybe we could actually do this again...but sober." She grinned at him before she exited. Prudence just nodded her head before drifted back into her room. Max checked his pocket, and discovered she was right. He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, which read: _If you're reading this, then you're sober and you know I'm not actually "Rose." And if this is true, then you deserve a second chance. My number is... _

Max smiled as he put the note back into his pocket and murmured with a smile, "Michelle."


	10. Old Enough to Know Better

Max smiled as he examined Michelle in her sleep. It was the first time she had spent the night since their very first meeting, and since that day, they've been on many dates, and had officially been seeing each other for a little over four weeks. Max couldn't believe his luck. Not only was Michelle beautiful and funny, but all of his friends loved her. Michelle and Lucy were especially close, since Michelle used to work for SDR, so that gave them a lot to talk about. And Michelle was interested in art, so that gave her plus points with Jude. In fact, she seemed to have at least on thing in common with each of his friends: Michelle would discuss the music scene with Sadie and Jojo, and she would share silly stories with Prudence, since she was such a good listener. And when it came to Max, the two of them would never run out of things to say. Yes, Max had felt he had finally hit the jackpot. After a few moments, Michelle stirred, opened her eyes slightly, and smiled at Max. 

"Good morning." Max greeted her, stroking her cheek. "Enjoy yourself last night?" 

Michelle blushed as she opened her eyes wider. She yawned, stretching out her arms, and simply said, "Of course." She sat up and said, "I'm in the mood for eggs. And bacon. And some really delicious toast." 

Max smirked. "Your wish is my command."

Half an hour later, they trailed into Lucy's diner, where they could always expect free food, or at least half priced food. Lucy sat them down at a table, told them to order whatever they wanted, since it would be on the house.

"Did I ever tell you how cool your sister is?" Michelle said as she opened her menu. 

"You say it often." Max replied, and then looked up to see that Jude had walked in, probably for this breakfast fix. Without a word, Jude walked over and joined the happy couple. Lately, Max and Jude seemed to actually be able to forget that they ever had a "relationship." They never spoke about it, and they didn't seem to ever even acknowledge their feelings. But of course, even though they don't say it out loud, doesn't mean that they still miss it. Jude was slightly jealous that Max seemed to find someone else so quickly, and Max was slightly jealous that Jude seemed to be trying to make the wedding happen sooner. They tried to tell themselves that they didn't mean it, and that they would soon not care. They were simply lying to themselves.

"Hey!" Michelle greeted Jude. "You're quiet this morning." 

"Tired. I was up late painting." Jude responded, shrugging. "And now I have some catchy song stuck in my head, from that one band I heard on the radio."

"Hey, you shouldn't hate on them, man. They're from Liverpool, too." Max teased. When Michelle gave him a curious look, he explained, "I read those magazines that you have all over your apartment." 

Michelle shook her head and laughed just as Lucy walked over. She took their orders, then turned to Jude and kissed him softly on the lips. "I wasn't expecting you to be up so early. I mean, especially after last night." She raised her eyebrows suggestively. 

"So I'm guessing you weren't painting after all." Michelle joked, causing Jude to blush. Max covered his ears with the palms of his hands and said, "I don't need to know about my sister's sex life!" 

Lucy smiled and ignored Max's comment. She looked at Michelle and said, "Hey, can you meet me in the bathroom? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, I'll be there in a sec." Michelle replied.

"Now _that's _what I'm talking about." Jude leaned back in his seat. "_Bom chicka wah wah_." 

Lucy rolled her eyes. "You perv." And walked off into the bathroom. A few minutes later, Michelle joined her. When she saw Lucy, she noticed her entire emotions changed. Lucy wasn't laughing like she was at the table, her face was solemn and pale. "Michelle...I missed my period. And..." she pulled out a pregnancy test from her purse, which she had bought yesterday and kept for today. "I needed someone to be with me when I took this." 

"Why didn't you ask Jude?" 

"I didn't want him to freak out unless he had a reason to." Lucy sighed. "I know, Jude. He'll lock himself in his studio for days when he has a problem." 

Michelle nodded. "Okay, well...are you ready to take it?" 

Lucy sighed, nodded, and walked into the bathroom stall. Michelle locked the bathroom door, just to be safe. A few moments later, Lucy emerged and said, "Okay, now we wait three minutes." 

They sat in silence for those three minutes, and Lucy even took an extra minute longer, just as a precaution. Then Lucy picked up the test and studied it for a few seconds. It was hard for Michelle to know what the results were, since Lucy's face showed absolutely no emotion. Finally, Lucy's eyes began to water as she stammered out, "It's positive." 

**Mmkay.**

**Sorry this is so short...**

**but yeah.**

**It had to be done. **

**Oh, and I'm hoping they did have pregnancy tests (or even the term "Bom chicka wah wah") back in the sixties, but if they didn't, I'm sorry for my mistake. **

**Anyways, I'll update soon.**

**Thanks to my regular reviewers!**


	11. So I Sing a Song of Love

_Well, this is interesting. _

Max gulped as he considered the situation that he was now in with Jude. There was a word for it. Oh right. "Compromising." In the minutes Michelle and Lucy left to the bathroom, Jude accidentally brushed his leg against Max's. Max didn't make a big deal out of it, things like that happened all the time. And Jude didn't mind when Max's leg brushed his against his in return. Accidents happen. Of course, the accidents became more reoccurring, and soon enough, Max's hand "accidentally" landed on top of Jude's, and they just sat there, wondering what exactly to do next. They both obviously knew what they _wanted _to do. But this was a public place, and their girlfriends/fiances were in the bathroom doing god knows what. So they just kept their position, not even bothering to move their hands.

"Max?" Jude finally said softly, in an inquisitive tone. His eyes were gleaming, and there was even the hint of a smile on his face. Max blushed as he lifted his hand abruptly and stood up.

"Um, I'm gonna go check on the girls." Max said, not even looking at Jude. "I'll be right back." 

Jude tried not to look completely embarrassed as Max walked away. Max shook his head as he headed towards the women's restroom, a territory he had never even thought of going to before (besides the exception of a quickie, of course) and as he knocked on the door, he felt rather awkward. "Luce? Michelle?" 

"We're fine." Michelle replied much too quickly. "Just, uh, go on without me. I'll meet you at home later."

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, we'll be fine." This time, it was Lucy's voice who chimed in. "Tell Jude I'll see him when I get off of work." 

Max was quiet for a second, before he asked, "Are you guys okay in there?" 

"Yeah, we're fine." Lucy tried to sound calm. "Seriously. Don't worry, Max. We'll see you later." 

Max reluctantly walked away, and back out to the table with Jude. Max awkwardly sat down at the table again.

"So, ah, are they okay?" Jude asked, looking everywhere except at Max. 

"Oh, yeah. They, er, told us we could leave if we wanted." Max stood up again, which made him look stupid since he just sat down. "So I'm gonna go." 

"Yeah, yeah, me too." Jude stood up as well, and they walked outside together. When they realized that Jude had to go left and Max had to go right, it became even more awkward. "So, ah, I'll see you later, I s'pose." Jude tried to sound as natural as possible as Max nodded. They parted without another word, both filled to the brim with regrets. They had thought they were completely over their feelings. It took them a few seconds to realize that they sure as hell were not. And there was a good chance they never would be. Max could have Michelle, and Jude could have Lucy, but there would always be a void in them that could only be fulfilled by the other. Jude could never explain these feelings, love or lust, but he knew that whenever he was around Max, he felt happy. Elated. He felt just right whenever he was with Max. And Max? He felt good whenever he was around Jude, and it was when he was in Jude's arms that he felt like the Old Max—the Max that went through life carelessly and said whatever was on his mind and just was impulsive. It was amazing how much good someone could bring out in Max.

No more than fifteen minutes later, Jude was pacing back and forth in his apartment, thinking over what he could've said to Max, what he could've _done. _Jude had strong feelings for him, he knew he was desperately smitten with the guy, but he just never knew how much until that moment. Or maybe it was the moment Max had proposed that they "forget" about it. Yes, maybe that was it. 

Suddenly, he heard a loud knock on the door, and on instinct, Jude swung it open, without even thinking about who it could be. But it was definitely a good surprise to see Max, smirking mischievously in the doorway. Jude had no idea what to say, but that's why he had Max, who was a master at filling silences. 

"Four weeks, three days, and six hours since I last touched you." Max said, letting himself inside the apartment and shutting the door. "I never expected to be away from you for so long." 

Jude's eyes widened as he stammered out, "But it was _your _idea--" 

Max interrupted him with a swift kiss on his perfect lips. "My fucking stupid idea. I thought you were smart enough not to listen to me, Judey."

Jude smirked as he kissed Max back, and then started placing swift kisses along Max's neck. "Well, I dunno. You have had some good ideas." Another kiss here, another kiss there. "It was your idea to go to the docks, so imagine what would've happened if I turned up and you weren't there..."

"True." Max said, moaning lightly as Jude's kisses continued. "But you've had some ideas yourself. If you hadn't sketched me that one day, who knows if we could've ever been like this?" Max finally brought Jude's attention back to his face, and Jude looked slightly reluctant to stop kissing, but all of that faded when Max kissed Jude softly on the lips. "Can I tell you something?"

Jude wrapped his arms around Max, causing Max to light up. There was that feeling again, the hint of Old Max. Jude nodded and Max smiled and said, "I missed you. I missed the way I felt with you."

"And how exactly do you feel?" 

Max nuzzled Jude's chest. "I feel like...like..." Max tried to search for the words, until he finally came up with, "I feel good, you know? Like nothing bad can happen. I love that feeling, especially after all the shit I've been through."

Jude brought Max's face to his, and he leaned in and kissed Max, and soon enough, they were reallykissing, catching up on every kiss they had lost in those four weeks, three days, and six hours. Their tongues were twirling around each other, and their hands were everywhere. They really had missed each other. Max loved Jude's lips, and Jude loved the way Max's strength always seemed to come out more when they kiss. They entangled their bodies together as they fell onto the couch. They were both so happy, they felt like they were floating on air. They were praying that this came through in their kiss. 

_Do you need anybody?_

_I need somebody to love.._

_----_

About forty five minutes later, Max and Jude were laying on Jude's bed, arms wrapped around each other. They had only stopped kissing about ten minutes ago, and they just slumped over here, almost asleep in each other's arms. Max hadn't felt this happy since god knows how long. He considered what could've happened if he had wimped out and stayed home instead of coming over. He shook that thought out of his mind. That was the last thing he wanted to think about.

"Did you hear something?" Jude asked suddenly, sitting up. Max shrugged, but after a moment, he heard it—the door opening, and keys jangling. It didn't take much to realize who had come home. 

"Jude?" Lucy called. Jude shared a terrified look with Max, until Max acted quickly and jumped underneath the bed. Jude couldn't believe how skinny Max was, because he seemed to fit so easily under the bed. Jude decided not to question it, and figured out a way to look natural. He stood up, shook his hair, and tried to make it look like he had just woken up from a nap. Lucy walked into the bedroom. "Hey. Did I wake you?"

"It's alright." Jude said, sitting on the edge of the bed, hoping he wasn't crushing Max. "How come you're home so early?"

"My boss gave me a thirty minute break, so that I could tell you..." Lucy sighed and sat down on the bed next to Jude. "Tell you that..I-I'm pregnant, Jude." 

Jude's eyes widened. "Pregnant?"

Lucy's eyes looked downward and her face went pale. Tears streamed down her face. "I know that you probably aren't happy about this, you don't have to say it, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared. And I-I.." She gulped for air.

Jude put an arm around her and wiped the tears from her cheek. "Hey, hey, love. Don't say that." He smiled at her. "I'm surprised, of course, but not happy? Of course not. You and me? A baby? It sounds crazy, but I'm certainly not going to just leave you. This is my responsibility too. I would never leave you, especially not for something like that."

"No?" Lucy looked at him in awe. 

"You think I'm that much of a bastard?" Jude chuckled. "I love you, and I'll love the baby. So don't worry." Jude gave her a strange look. "Is this why you and Michelle were in the bathroom?"

"Uh, yeah." Lucy said. "Michelle said that she'll convince Max to be a good uncle." 

Max, who had been listening the whole time, smiled when he heard this. _No convincing needed, sis, _he thought.

"But what about money?" Lucy asked, sounding hopeless again. "Do you think we'll have enough to support a baby? And there's so much to buy."

"Lucy, calm down. I'll sell more art, I'll even get a second job if I need to, just so that you won't have to work so much." Jude stroked her cheek. "Everything will be okay. Trust me."

Lucy smiled a bit, then looked down at her watch. "Well, that's all I came to tell you. I should get back now. Cabs are so hard to get, and the traffic is insane." They both stood up and Jude walked her to the door. When he leaned in for a kiss, she simply kissed his cheek and said, "You are so wonderful." 

Jude shrugged and smiled at her, but felt so guilty inside. "You are amazing." 

Lucy nodded at him and then walked back out the door. When Jude returned to the room, Max was already out from underneath the bed. They exchanged a strange look, until Max said, "I think I should go." 

"Um, yeah. Just wait until Luce is gone." Jude replied awkwardly, and didn't say another word.

----

When Lucy got inside her cab, she promptly began to cry. And it had nothing to do with the baby.

The truth was, there was a reason she turned pale when she looked down, and there was a reason she chose to kiss Jude's cheek instead of his lips. 

One thought was crossing through her mind the entire cab ride back to work:

_I wonder if Jude knew that Max's feet were sticking out. _


	12. There Will Be An Answer

**A/N: Once again, I call this a filler chapter.**

**And please don't hate me for how this chapter ends**

_I can't do this anymore. _

_-Max. _

It took awhile for Jude to comprehend the note Max had left for him on the nightstand. What did he mean he "couldn't do this anymore"? It wasn't more than a couple of hours ago that Max was telling Jude that it was his "fucking stupid idea" to ever stop this. Whatever _this _was. And most of all, Jude had figured that Max would at least give a reason or explanation. Max had never been one to just say something so simply; he would always go into detail, whatever the consequences were. It finally dawned on Jude that Max was not the same guy he was back in Princeton, or even when they first moved to New York. Max had matured, Max had grown up. And all it took for him to do it was being shipped off to the jungles of Vietnam.

Jude closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands. Of course Max would want to end things—Lucy was pregnant and Michelle was falling in love with him. They couldn't keep playing their little games when Lucy was expecting a child--_Jude's _child--and Max was getting serious about Michelle. But is this how Max wanted to end it? With six words scrawled on a piece of paper? Jude sighed, but he had to agree with his friend. Not even Jude could do this anymore. They were both in love with two other women, and they both had lives. They might have feelings for each other, but was it really worth the risk of ruining everything? Certainly not.

Jude stood up from his bed, grabbed his coat, and left his apartment. He made his way down to Lucy's job. Jude realized that if he and Max were definitely ending _this _then Jude knew he had to make a clean start with Lucy. He wouldn't tell her what happened, no, but he make it clear that he loved her, and he would never do anything to hurt her. At least not anymore. He hated himself for even needing to prove it in the first place, but if he wanted to feel good about himself, this was the way to do it.

Jude walked into the diner, searched for Lucy, until he spotted her coming from the back of the kitchen, looking tired and hopeless, and yet stunningly beautiful. Jude smiled when he saw her, and slowly made his way over to her, tugging at her hand before she could go to her next table. She whirled around, and when she saw him, the slightest hint of a smile formed on her face. "Hey. What brings you here?"

Jude smirked and said, "Where can I get a job application?"

Lucy's eyes widened, along with her smile. "_You _want to work here?"

Jude shrugged. "Well, let's see, you work here, so I'd most likely get to see you more often, plus it'll bring in more money for the baby." Jude smiled. "Of course I want to work here."

Lucy looked at him in awe. She had been questioning herself the entire way to work about why she was still with him, but all it took was one look at him to realize what kept bringing her back: those glistening brown eyes, that devastating smile, and the way he could completely surprise her at the most random of moments. She must've been staring at him for awhile, because she heard her boss yell from the back, "Luce! Table orders!" She blinked back to reality, nodded at her boss, and told Jude that she'd bring him an application when she got home from work.

Jude kissed her cheek, murmured that he loved her, and made his way back home. It wasn't the exact way he had planned it, but he felt better. He was in love with Lucy, and what was he thinking going around with Max? He shook his head, the hint of a smile on his face, and felt like a new man as he walked down the street.

000000

Max's mind kept returning back to that note he left Jude. While Jude had been talking to Lucy by the door, Max had scribbled it. He wanted to say so much more, but figured that it would be easier to make it blunt, his point would come across easier. The truth was, he couldn't stand it. He loved Jude, but Jude belonged to his sister, Jude made his sister happy, and not only that, but Jude was going to make a family with his sister. That was a harsh realization for Max to make, but he would be damned if it wasn't the plain truth. Jude had no more time to have little flings with soon to be brother in laws. Jude and Lucy were going to start a family, planned or unplanned, conventional or unconventional.

When Max walked into Michelle's apartment, he actually felt a bit happier being in her presence. So maybe Lucy wasn't the only reason why he wanted to stop; Max had never expected it, but he was starting to fall in love with Michelle. Who could blame him? Michelle was beautiful, funny, friendly, and she understood Max the way nobody else could. Except for Jude.

Michelle wrapped her arms around Max and said, "Hey. Where'd you go?"

"Oh, Jude's apartment. I was, uh, helping him clean up, you know, for Luce." Max hated, hated,_ hated _lying to Michelle, so he decided to lighten the conversation a bit. "And that's when I found out about Luce being preggers."

Michelle pulled back from her hug. "Oh. What did Jude say?"

"He was surprisingly calm. Obviously, he told Lucy that he would get a job, two if needed, and that everything would be okay." Max shrugged and smiled. "Typical Jude, of course."

"Good. Lucy was so worried about what he would say." Michelle kissed Max's cheek. "I know you'll be the coolest uncle around."

Max smiled, wrapped his arms around her, and without thinking, he replied, "And you'll be the coolest aunt around."

Michelle's smiled widened. "I guess we'll be the coolest aunt and uncle around, then."

Max kissed her softly on the lips and twirled her around. Strangely enough, they both began to waltz around her apartment, like little kids, and they kept whispering little nothings into each other's ears. When they finished, Max collapsed onto Michelle's couch, and she sat down next to him, her head resting on his shoulders. Max realized not for the first time how much he loved little moments like this. Michelle was unlike any girl he had ever met, and he wished that he wasn't too chicken shit to say the three little words that he knew she was dying to hear.

He moved his lips closer to her ear and sang softly,

"_Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,_

_but she doesn't have a lot to say. _

_Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,_

_but she changes from day to day._

_I wanna tell her that I love her a lot,_

_but I gotta get a belly full of wine._

_Her majesty's a pretty nice girl_

_Someday I'm gonna make her mine._

_Oh yeah, someday I'm gonna make her mine."_

Michelle smiled, nuzzled her head on his chest, and, in that moment, they both felt right.

000000

"You got a bun in the oven, hon? That's fantastic!"

"Lucy? Preggers? Sweet!"

"Ah, that's great, baby. I love kids."

Those were the various responses from Sadie, Prudence, and Jojo (you can guess who said what) as Lucy told them all the news. They were hanging out at Katz's Delicatessen after one Sadie's shows later that night, and of course, they were all ecstatic about the news. In fact, Sadie and Prudence had finally gotten over their small resentment towards Jude as soon as Michelle came into the picture. They were finally happy for the two of them.

"Yeah, it's all happening so fast." Lucy said. "The proposal, the pregnancy...god, what's next?"

"Seniority." Max said with a smirk. "It'll come sooner than you think, sis."

Lucy grinned as she playfully punched her brother's arm. Max stuck out his tongue, which erupted their group into laughter. _This _is what they all missed: hanging out together, joking around. It had been so long since they felt so comfortable around each other. As Lucy watched the way Michelle and Max looked at each other, she couldn't help but smile. Her brother had finally fallen in love, and thankfully, it wasn't with Jude. Or, as far she knew.

"Hey, hey, tone down the sibling rivalry." Sadie said with a small smile. "We're in a public place here."

"Thanks, _Mom._" The two Carrigans both said at the same time. Sadie rolled her eyes, shrugged, and smiled. It wasn't like this wasn't true, though, in their group. Sadie had always taken on the motherly figure, even though she was just as much of a party animal as the next. She was just protective and thoughtful, as was Jojo, which made him the father figure of the group, always there for the right advice at the right time. Which, of course, made Prudence, Jude, Lucy, Max, and now Michelle almost like the younger "kids", always be watched over by their caring "parents." The idea sounded silly and almost insane, but it was how their group came together, take it or leave it.

"So, do you plan on finding out the gender?" Jojo asked, looking from Jude to Lucy. For some reason, Jojo had always felt more connected to Jude, and in fact, Jojo was usually Jude's drinking buddy, even more often now with the way Max was going everywhere with Michelle. Maybe it was because when everybody else in their lives felt so distant, the two of them just were in the same boat, so they could really understand each other. Either way, Jojo was very intrigued to learn that the man that he once had to carry home because he was so wasted was now going to be a father.

Lucy and Jude shared a look and they both shrugged. "I don't know. I still have to visit the doctor, just to be sure about everything, you know." Lucy smiled. "But I think I want to be surprised."

Jude nodded at her. "Whatever you want. You're the one carrying the baby." Then he leaned in and whispered, "So, when are we going to tell your parents?"

Lucy smiled nervously. "Ha, _after_ we're married." She smirked. "My parents would die if they knew their precious daughter had, gasp, premarital sex."

Jude grinned. "Just tell them that I was too irresistible. You know how the rich girls are always attracted to the poor artists." Jude kissed her cheek, and Lucy giggled as she said, "You know, I think that could work." Which caused them both to chuckle.

That night, everything felt right. Everyone was natural and happy. There was no tension, at least not too much, and Lucy actually felt that things would be okay. Maybe they wouldn't be perfect, but they never were in the first place.

Things were finally beginning to feel good again.

0000000

Later that night, Lucy was rushed to the hospital.


	13. Pools of Sorrow

"How's Lucy?" Max asked Jude in a very big brother type voice. Max had just arrived, having receiving the call thirty minutes ago, and raced to the hospital as fast as he could. After a lot of yelling at the nurses, he made his way up to Lucy's room, where he saw Jude sitting outside, calmly, looking straight ahead. When Max walked over to him, Jude didn't move. He was expressionless, vacant.

Jude looked up at him and said plainly, "Lucy's fine."

Max breathed a sigh of relief and exclaimed, "Oh thank God, I thought something had happened to the baby--"

"I said _Lucy _was fine." Jude spat back bitterly. Max stopped mid sentence, and his eyes widened. He tried to look for any type of emotion on Jude's face—shouldn't Jude be feeling _something_? After a moment or two of studying Jude's indifferent expression, he finally realized it: Jude was always the strong one, he was the rock, and he was somebody that everyone relied on. And right now, Jude was simply trying to be strong for Lucy, and at this moment, he was doing it for Max's benefit. Jude could never actually show emotion publicly. In fact, the only time that Max could ever recall seeing Jude show any emotion in front of anybody was on the rooftop. But that was so long ago.

Max also realized that Jude would tell him no more. Because if Jude had actually gone into detail about what happened, he might actually have to show emotion. And he simply couldn't do that. Max finally stammered out, "C-can I see her?" Jude just nodded, not even bothering to look at him. Max took a deep breath, unsure of how he could handle seeing his baby sister on a hospital bed, but he realized that Lucy had to face a lot of these fears when she visited Max not too long ago, and he could never thank her enough for it. He walked in, trying to hold back tears as he saw how weak she looked, though she seemed to be sharing the same expression Jude had—she showed absolutely no emotion, barely even looking up when Max walked in.

"Hey." Max said, slowly making his way over to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Lucy muttered in a voice that made Max wince.

"..what happened?" _Shit. You're not supposed to ask.._

"I don't even know." Lucy said in a wobbly voice. "I just remember lots of blood, doctors, and Jude screaming at the nurse that he wanted to be here with me and..." She caught her breath. "The doctor said that I was, ah, actually one month along in the pregnancy, unknowingly, and..that.." She closed her eyes. "There were..complications, as the doctor put it. And then it was gone." She opened her eyes again and looked up at her brother with a look of complete and utter desperation. "How the hell can this happen, Max? I already lost what I didn't have."

Max touched her hand, but offered no response. He had tears forming in his eyes. How could it be that only hours ago, he was laughing and joking around with her? How could it be that only hours ago, everybody was making plans for this baby? And how could they know that hours later, they would lose it?

"The worst part is that Jude is trying to be strong, telling me that everything will be okay, and trying to reassure me the best he can...but even he knows that it won't be. I mean... Jude thinks I can't hear him crying outside. He was crying for a good half hour, thinking that I was taking a nap. That's when I convinced him to call you." She squeezed her brother's hand. "Take him home, Max. He's not okay. He can't stand it here."

"He wants to be with you, Luce." Max finally spoke.

"I know, but... Jude can't candle this. He just can't."

Max was astonished: here was his sister, lying in a hospital bed, recovering from the loss of her baby, and _she _was caring about what was best for the people around her. _She's an angel. _

"What about you, Lucy? You can't stay here alone."

Lucy sighed. "The doctors will be running tests on me all night, believe me, I will not be alone." She looked deep into Max's eyes. "Just tell Jude to come back in the morning, both of you. He'll be better by then, more stable."

"Are you completely sure?"

"It's better for everyone." Lucy said.

Max leaned down, kissed Lucy's forehead, and murmured into her hair, "You're amazing, sis. You're stronger than anyone I know. I love you."

"Love you too." Lucy replied, kissing his cheek. "Now go."

Max walked out of the room, and he turned to Jude, who was sitting in the exact same position as he was before. He was practically a statue, showing no emotion, no movement, nothing. A ticking timebomb, one could say.

"C'mon Jude." Max said, touching his shoulder softly. "We should go home."

"No, we shouldn't."

"Man, Lucy wants you to go home. Get some rest." Max tried to touch Jude again, but Jude swiftly avoided it. "She says we can come back in the morning."

That was it. Jude was suddenly livid. He snapped up from his seat and yelled, "I'm not fucking leaving!"

"Lucy _wants_ you to." Max said, trying to keep his voice low.

"Yeah, well, Lucy also _wanted_ a baby, but did she get that? Huh?" That it was it. It only took those words to come from Jude's mouth to make him completely stop, then fall to his knees, first crying silently, then suddenly they turned into great, heaving sobs, as he kept muttering, "She _wanted _this baby..she _wanted _it.." Max fell to the floor with him, not trying to stop the tears from streaming. He put an arm around Jude, and this time, Jude didn't move away from the touch. He buried his head into Max's neck, crying, sobbing, letting everything out. Max tried to be strong, just for him, letting only tears fall as he stroked Jude's hair. After a few minutes, Max finally said, "Come on, let's go."

He lifted Jude up from the ground, which was extremely hard. Jude wasn't resisting, but he wasn't complying either. He was limp, unresponsive, and Max used all the strength he could to carry Jude out of the hospital. He dropped Jude into the backseat of his cab, where Jude sat quietly, stonily, and Max drove the two of them back to Sadie's apartment. Max knew that taking Jude back to his own apartment would only make Jude think of Lucy, and that would not be very good at that moment.

Max carried Jude up the stairs, even though Jude was a bit more compliant now, carrying a bit of his own weight. When they entered the apartment, they saw Sadie, Jojo, and Prudence all sitting around the "whatever" room, coffee in hand and worried expressions on their faces. They had been waiting ever since Max left. Max glanced at the clock, saw that it was two in the morning, and suddenly felt extremely tired.

Max walked over to his own room, dropped Jude onto the bed, where Jude curled himself over on one half of the bed, still remaining silent, and Max sighed. He knew Jude wasn't asleep, but he also knew that Jude was in absolutely no mood to talk. Max didn't feel like walking back out, knowing that he would probably have to tell everyone what happened to Lucy, and that was something Max didn't want to really talk about either.

Max just rested back on the other side of the bed, unable to sleep, even though his whole body was aching. So the two of them just lay there, looking everywhere but each other. Finally, Max muttered, "Good night."

Jude didn't reply.

0000

Jude awoke the next morning to an empty bed and to the sound of hushed voices talking outside the bedroom door. He rubbed his eyes and glanced around, finally realizing that this was Max's room, and as his mind settled, the sinking feeling in his stomach slowly returned as he remembered everything that had happened the night before.

_Lucy lost the baby..I completely lost it..Max came..I completely yelled at Max..And Max completely took care of me. _

Jude shook his head once more, finally getting out of the bed. When he opened the door, Sadie and Jojo, who had obviously been whispering about him, scattered to Sadie's room. Jude rolled his eyes and made his way to the living room, where he saw Max sitting on the couch, a hassled look on his face, holding a cup of coffee. Max looked up and saw Jude, then forced a small smile on his face. "Um, good morning." He held out the cup. "Coffee?"

Jude walked over to took the cup from his hands, took a sip, then said, "So, ah, when are we going going back?"

"Soon. I was just waiting for you to wake up."

Jude nodded. They were quiet for a second, until Jude said, "I know I was a mess last night... I don't recall what I said to you, but if it was anything horrible..."

Jude stopped when Max touched his shoulder, which sent an energetic buzz throughout his body, smiled at him, and said softly, "It's nothing that I wouldn't have said in that situation."

Jude actually managed to smile back, and then he said, "Thank you."

"For what?" Max was confused. He never thought that taking care of Jude was a job or a burden. It was an instinct for Max.

Jude tried to think of everything and anything he could be thankful for. There was so much. Max had been there for him countless times, there wasn't enough time in a day for Jude to even mention it all. So he just touched his shoulder, smiled a bit wider and murmured, "Just for being there when nobody else was."

0000

**Okay, this isn't the best chapter, I know.**

**And yes, I feel bad because I seem to be lingering away from the whole Max/Jude scene**

**But don't worry!**

**There's a point for all of this, I swear!**

**And yeah, I couldn't really have TOO MUCH Max/Jude romantic action here, because, well, I can't just have Lucy in the hospital while Max and Jude go at it, you know!**

**Anyways, I'm just saying, there's a reason for all of this!!**

**AND THANK YOU TO MY REGULAR REVIEWERSSS!!**


	14. No Reply

The next two weeks seemed to go by quickly: Lucy was let out of the hospital, she stayed on bed rest for three days, Jude and Max hovered around her, Michelle visited often, and within a few days, things were starting to begin to lighten up. One day, Lucy had convinced Jude that he needed to get out of the house, since she would be spending the day with Michelle, and she didn't Jude to be alone. She even told Jude that there were a few art galleries that seemed to be interested in upcoming artists.

Soon enough, Jude found himself in a fancy art gallery, but the artist felt completely out of place. This gallery was filled with women in expensive pant suits, and Jude figured that his choice of paint splattered clothing was probably not the best fashion choice for a place like this. Not like it stopped the women from gazing at him dreamily, a few of them murmuring little comments about him, thinking he couldn't hear what they thought of his "nice butt" and questioning if he had a girlfriend. Jude began to feel uneasy, so he exited the the gallery, but not before a seductive woman handed him her card and suggested that he call her so they could "meet up and discuss art."

Jude walked out, back into the cold air of the city, feeling slightly vulnerable. Jude noticed how much things were changing: the once psychedelic streets were slowly losing their color, becoming more tame. The ending of the sixties was slowly becoming a harsh reality.

Jude came out of his haze when he heard a car horn honk from beside him. When he looked over, he saw Max sitting in his cab, slowly inching along to keep in step with Jude, which was not going over well with the people driving behind him.

"Hey! Need a ride?" Max called through an open window, smirking a bit. Jude, of course, obliged to this, stepping inside of Max's cab, returning his smirk.

"I saw you walk out of that gallery." Max said, returning his attention to the street. "I thought a place like that would be much too fancy for you."

"It is." Jude muttered. "Those women are like animals. Staring at me, talking about me like I'm not there... I felt violated."

"Well," Max began, sending Jude a seductive glance. "I can't really blame them."

That statement caused Jude to blush furiously, which Max adored until no end. "Either way, I didn't like it."

"Oh come on. Every girl is going to be attracted to the British starving artist." Max replied gleefully. "I thought you were used to it by now."

"The starving artist, eh?" Jude chuckled. "I thought most girls were interested in the little rich boy who runs off to New York, escaping a misunderstanding family." Jude paused, then added, "With the starving artist."

Max shook his head. "I wasn't rich."

"No?" Jude cocked his head to the side. "I guess silver platters and big houses can be so misleading."

"No, there's a term for it.." Max wracked his brain, then exclaimed, "Oh yeah! 'Upper Middle Class' is what they call us." When Jude tossed Max a look of annoyance, Max muttered, "Which, I suppose, is another way of saying rich."

Jude smiled. "Exactly, mate. I mean, isn't that what attracted Michelle?"

Max shrugged. "Isn't that what attracted you?"

Jude felt a heat rise inside of him. There it was again. The feeling that only Max could bring. "Perhaps." Jude tried to act nonchalant. "Did the British artist bit attract you to me?"

"Nope."

"Then what did?" Jude asked, arching his eyebrow curiously.

Max looked over at him, smirked devilishly, and said, "Well... it's definitely _not _your smile. Oh, and it's definitely _not _the way you kiss. And I know it's _not _because your arms are so warm."

Jude, feeling slightly tingly, smirked back at him and said, "Well, what is it?"

Max didn't answer his question. He parked his car right in front of a building, and then he leaned over, kissed Jude softly on the lips, not even waiting for Jude to kiss him back, and then when he pulled back, he felt Jude's warm hand graze his own, which caused them both to smile. Max thought for a second, then he said, "Okay, so maybe it _is _your smile. Oh, and, yeah, maybe your kiss _could _be a reason. And sure, maybe it is because your arms are so warm." Max's smirked, then he added, "Isn't this your building?"

Jude's mouth was slightly open, he was still in his own world, and finally he snapped back to attention. God, Max was good when it came to the little games he played. Jude nodded, attempted a wobbly smirk, then exited the taxi. Before he shut the door, Max said, "Oh yeah, I forgot. There was something I had to tell you: Michelle wants to double tonight. So, yeah. I'll see you then."

As Max drove off, without even waiting for his friend's reply, Jude was trying to recollect his thoughts. Wait—weren't they over this? Hadn't Max told him _twice _that this just wasn't right? Could it just be that they were completely unable to stop this? Was it really a habit that neither had the strength to fight?

Jude shook his head, walked up to his apartment, and started getting ready for his double date tonight.

00000

"So that's when Max told me about the eggs!" Michelle finished her story that was met with uproarious laughter from Max, Jude, and Lucy.

There they were, the foursome, sitting in the middle of Katz's Delicatessen, acting as if there wasn't any secret attractions around the table. Well, to Michelle (and an almost convinced Lucy), there wasn't. But Jude and Max kept stealing glances at each other all night, even though Jude had his hand around Lucy's waist, and Max had his arm around Michelle's shoulders. It was like they were testing each other: _Who can __get jealous faster? _

"So, Jude," Michelle began, looking over at him. "Did you go to that art gallery I told Lucy about?"

"Um, yes, I did." Jude said, trying to hide a smile.

"Yeah, it's owned by my sister's best friend. She's such a strong woman, not caring about men or sex. She's purely professional." Michelle said, and this depicted an entirely different picture than what Jude experienced. "Wasn't her art wonderful?"

Jude nodded. Yes, the art was nice, but it can be hard to focus when seven women want to grope you at the same time. "Oh, yeah, it was lovely."

Lucy smiled and said reassuringly, "I know you'll open a gallery one day."

"I'm sure." Max added with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Customers love buying art from starving artists."

Jude smirked. "That's what I'm told."

Lucy and Michelle exchanged confused looks, until Michelle finally brightened. "Oh Max! Are you going to tell them our news?"

"News?" Jude and Lucy asked at the same time, cocking their eyebrows.

Max looked a tad uncomfortable as Michelle continued, "Well, as you know, I'm studying to become a therapist. And Max has been supportive of me every step of the way, and then I got a letter from a school I applied to, and I was accepted! If I just take a few courses at this school, I can become a real therapist!" Michelle exclaimed smiling.

"That's wonderful." Lucy said with a smile.

"That's not all, though. See, the school is in California, and they want me to start as soon as possible." Michelle smiled brightly at Max as she continued, "So when I told Max, and he told me he wanted to support me in any way he could. So... we're moving to California!" Michelle said it so fast, it took awhile for it to sink in.

Jude's mind was swirling. California? Max? No, no, no. Max had only met this girl a little over a month ago, and suddenly, he was moving with her to _California_? Max wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave Lucy, he wouldn't leave Prudence or Sadie or Jojo... and he definitely _wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't _do this to Jude. Would he?

Then it clicked in Jude's head: the kiss earlier. Was that his way of saying, "I'm sorry I'm going to hurt you"? Was it?

When Jude's mind returned to the conversation, he could hear Lucy excitedly congratulating Michelle, and then his eyes trailed to Max, who was staring right at Jude. How could he?

Without thinking, Jude stood up abruptly, announced he would be in the bathroom, but as he walked away from the table, he made a quick turn and exited through a back door. Max, who had been watching him, stood up without a word and followed him out. He had to explain that this was the best way for things to be.

When Max walked outside, he saw Jude standing alone, huddled in his coat. When Jude looked up and saw Max, he snapped, "What the hell is that about? You kiss me, and then suddenly, you're moving to California?"

Max suddenly felt defensive. "Oh? Doesn't that remind you of a situation when you kissed me, and then suddenly, you're engaged to Lucy?"

Jude glared at him. "What? So you're just going to California out of bitterness? Just to get back at me?"

"No. I'm doing it because I think it's the best thing to do." Max said. "You and I.. I like it. Okay? I like what we have. But nothing can ever come of it, and you know that. And you also know that as long as we're around each other, we're going to want each other. And maybe if I'm across the country, we won't, you know, have these feelings."

Jude rolled his eyes. "Oh, really? Is that how it is?" Jude shrugged and said bitterly, "Well, what if it doesn't work? What if you're so far away, and we still want this, but we can't? Huh? What then?" Jude took a step closer to Max, but his demeanor didn't change. "Face it, Max. You love me, and I love you. And there's nothing we can do to change that."

"You're being so damn immature, Jude!" Max snapped. "Honestly. If you want me to say, there has to be a reason. I'm not going to stay and ruin everything I have with Michelle just to have to watch you and Lucy kiss each other, like I've been stuck doing before. I'll only stay if you can promise me that I can kiss you without caring about Lucy or anybody else seeing us. I'll only stay if you can promise me that when I hold your hand, you won't pull away the minute somebody can see us. I'll only stay if you promise me that you and I can be together without hiding it. Because you're right Jude. I love you, and there's nothing I can do to change that."

Jude stared back at Max blankly. He wanted to promise Max all of these things, but he also didn't know if he could. And when Max finished and saw Jude's expression, he nodded and said, "Yeah. So _that's _the way it is." With that, he walked back inside the restaurant.

Jude couldn't go back in there, so he walked home, awaiting Lucy's arrival.

An hour later, Lucy entered the apartment, where Jude was standing by the door. "Hey. Why'd you leave?"

"I just..." Jude started, but his sentence faded, not even bothering to finish it.

Lucy gave him a strange look, and then her face softened. She saw the look in his eyes that clearly had Max written all over it. She caught her breath, and couldn't believe she was actually about to acknowledge this aloud. She touched Jude's arm and said, "You really love him, don't you?"

Jude's eyes widened. She knew? She knew and she didn't say anything?

_Of course she knew, you dirty bastard. _

Of course. It wasn't hard to miss the glances and the secret (or so they thought) touches. And god only knows what else she's seen.

Jude sighed, catching his breath. "Yes.. I do." He half expected Lucy to kick him out. He also expected Lucy to yell at him, or just say something that would show some sort of disapproval.

He did not expect Lucy to kiss his cheek, touch his shoulder and say, "Then who am I to take that away from you? Go get him."


	15. It Feels So Right

"And he's just so selfish! He only thinks of himself! Did he ever once think how his engagement to Lucy could affect _me_? No! And then when I want to start a life with Michelle, he freaks!"

Yes, Max was venting. Could he be blamed? Not at all.

"I always thought of him first, but no, he never once thought of me! It was always about what was good for _him, _what made _him_ happy... and I, being the dumbass in this situation, let him! Why? Why was I so damn stupid?!"

Prudence, who had been listening quietly along with Sadie, said, "Because you love him."

Max ran a hand through his hair and continued pacing around the living room. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Why did Prudence always have to be right? God. Max wished he could've been more secluded about his anger, but that just wasn't Max. If he was pissed, he wanted people to know.

"Yeah? So what if I do? He doesn't love me, at least not enough to even consider making what we ever had real!" Max snapped back. "He's just an ignorant, selfish, shallow bastard!" He crossed his arms. "And he's no longer a priority in my life."

"Yeah, right." Prudence said just as they heard a knock on the door. Sadie stood up from her seat on the couch, made her way to the doorway, and after a moment or two, she called out, "Uh, Max?"

"What?"

"It's the ignorant, selfish, shallow bastard."

Max grunted and had no intention of seeing Jude at all. But damn if his heart didn't get the best of him, because the next thing he knew, without even thinking, he was making his way over to Jude, slowly coming face to face with him. As Jude stepped inside the apartment and the boys stared each other down in the middle of the "whatever" room, Sadie muttered, "Well, um, I think I should go to bed. Good night, guys." Then she awkwardly exited, whispering for Prudence to do the same.

Once they found themselves alone, Max narrowed his eyes. "So, you finally decided to come."

"Max, I--"

"Realized that everything was a huge mistake?" Max snapped. "Because that's what I did."

Jude rolled his eyes. "You don't mean that."

Max snorted, but responded in no other way, so Jude continued, "Look, I came here to tell you that... well... I guess I've just been stupid this whole time, thinking you would always wait for me."

"Yeah, you were." Max retorted. "I'm a fucking human being, Jude. A pretty messed up human being at that. I'm not exactly in the right state of mind to be fucked around with."

"Can't you just let me say sorry, and then continue on with what I really want to say?"

Max thought for a second, then said, "Well, not before I say what I want to say."

"Okay.. fine." Jude said uncertainly.

Max cleared his throat, then began, "I have the feeling that you're expecting some sort of apology from me, and I don't really think that I should. I mean, if there's anyone to blame, it's definitely you."

Jude rolled his eyes once more. Max could be so difficult to handle sometimes. "Me? What the hell did I do?" When Max raised his eyebrows, Jude added, "Well, besides the obvious situation at hand."

"Well, if you hadn't gotten so pissed of at me at Katz's, I wouldn't be feeling like shit right now."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have decided to run off to California before even talking to me."

"Maybe _you _shouldn't have broken my heart by asking Lucy to marry you. Maybe then I wouldn't even have met Michelle."

"Max, _you _shouldn't have put so much pressure on me by telling me you loved me at the docks!"

"_You _shouldn't have even gone to the docks! I was there first! You sat down next to me first!"

"Maybe _you _shouldn't have asked to sketch me that day! Maybe none of this would've happened!"

"_You _shouldn't have even agreed to that!"

And so on they went, blaming each other for everything that they were so happy had occurred in the first place. They didn't know why. They definitely knew they didn't mean it.

After quite some time, the "argument" was finally beginning to simmer, if only because they were running out of reasons to "hate" each other.

Jude raised his voice louder. "Well maybe _you _shouldn't have run into me that very first day at Princeton!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have asked me where your dad was!"

"Maybe you should've just ignored me and not answered the question!"

"You helped me with my books! How was I supposed to ignore you?" Max's nostrils flared. "Maybe you shouldn't have helped me!"

"I felt sorry for you! Maybe you shouldn't have been running!"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have come to America! Then I would be completely..." Max stopped. What would life be like if Jude hadn't been the guy who had picked up his books at Princeton? What would life be like if there wasn't any Jude period? "...miserable."

That finally ended it. After naming off every event that led up to _this_, they realized that they truly had something amazing. They could've made so many decisions that would have never let their paths cross, but no. They made their decisions, and in the end, it lead them to each other, in the strangest and most complicated of ways.

Max had never believed in fate. Jude had never believed in destiny. But here it was, right in their faces, telling them _I told you so. _

"Max?" Jude said after the silence.

"Yeah?"

"...can I finally finish what I was going to tell you?"

Max cracked a small smile. "Sure."

Jude thought of a way to put everything he was going to say in the simplest terms. He supposed after everything they had said and realized, nothing he had planned on saying before would really mean anything. So he just looked up at Max with a grin, took a step closer to him, and finally said the words that probably held more meaning now than they ever did before: "I love you."

Max smirked. He had said it. Of course Jude had said those words before, but now, they really meant something. In fact, this even felt like it could be the first time he ever said it. Max whispered those same words back, and kissed him hard on the lips. And this was it: _the _kiss. The kiss that would prove everything: how much they wanted, needed, _loved _each other. There are absolutely no words to describe this type of kiss, but when the kiss was over, they both felt exhilarated, free, and most of all, _perfectly happy. _

"Jude?" Max asked, leaning his forehead against his lover's.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Prudence and Sadie know that I can totally see them peeking through Sadie's door?"

After hearing the light sound of the door shutting and embarrassed voices, Jude chuckled, "I think they do now."

"And Jude?"

"Yeah, mate?"

"Will you, er, marry me?"

000000

**Hee.**

**The thing I love about fics: CLIFFIES. **

**Though, this is _not_ my favorite chapter ending. **

**And yeah, you may think you know that happens next.**

**But believe me, you don't. **

**Like seriously!**

**YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE.**

**Haaa. I'm weird. **

**I'll be updating sooon, loves. **


	16. I Need You

"M-marry you?"

Jude's eyes widened. Of course he loved Max, he was head over heels for the boy, but marriage? Wasn't Max completely against marriage? God. And Jude couldn't even believe that in his mind, the words _Max, Jude, _and _marriage _were all being used in the same sentence. Jude looked intp Max's blue eyes. He didn't want to hurt Max, but he just couldn't marry him. The idea was completely and utterly insane. Jude took a deep breath.

"Max, I just think.." Jude ran a hand through Max's hair comfortingly. God he didn't want to do this. He had just gotten Max. The idea of losing him in the same night would be too painful.

"Jude, man, I was kidding." Max smirked and fumbled around with Jude's right hand, which had been interlocked with his own. "It's just too easy to mess with you."

_That dirty little bastard._ But even as the idea registered in Jude's head, he grinned. Max, Max, Max. _His_ Max, _his _boyfriend. Jude examined the small blonde: that casual smirk, the posture of his body, leaning closer into Jude, the blonde hair falling over his eyes, and damn, those _eyes_. Jude smiled. Yes, this adorable, sexy, funny, childish, and completely irresistible boy..._was all his. _Jude, finally coming to the conclusion that this is real, enclosed Max into another passionate kiss. Max, although taken by surprise, gladly obliged without asking any questions.

"So, let's get wasted." Max stated when they pulled apart.

"I'm with you on that one." Jude smiled, paused for a second, then called out, "Sadie, Pru, I know you guys are still there... might as well come to the bar with us!"

Sadie and Prudence emerged from Sadie's room moments later, looking slightly embarrassed, though Sadie, ever the diva, managed to act nonchalant, even though inside, she was squealing. Prudence, on the other hand, wasn't quite as subtle. After the wave of embarrassment had washed over her, she looked from Jude to Max, then her eyes looked down at their interlocked fingers, and she was suddenly bubbling with excitement. "Oh my god! Finally! You both have come to your senses! Life is good! Life is sweet!"

Max blushed, which was something he hardly ever did, ruffled up Prudence's hair, and muttered, "I swear, Pru."

"Like you're not completely ecstatic." Prudence said casually.

The four of them walked over to a nearby bar, sat down at a booth, and the ladies promptly started asking questions and gushing. The boys tried to act as calm as possible, though the hints of red that occasionally appeared on their faces did not go by unnoticed. When Sadie finished up her last question ("Have you guys, you know, had sex?" to which Max replied, "Have _you_?") Prudence finally asked the burning question...

"Well, what's the deal with Lucy?"

Jude immediately felt a pang of guilt. God. It had not been more than an hour ago that he had ran out on Lucy, completely breaking his ex-fiance's heart, and now he was in a bar, celebrating it. He shook his head. Sure, of course he felt bad, but he could only imagine how Max felt. He had taken his _sister's_ boyfriend.

"We're just going to let everything go with the flow... I'm going to have to move out, of course." Jude shrugged and plainly sent the signal that he didn't want to talk about it. Max was quick to change the subject.

"Sadie, where's Jojo tonight?" Max nervously fidgeted with his beer. _Anything _to avoid bringing Lucy into this.

"Oh, he's just having one of those nights around town. I mean, I do it all the time, I just told Jojo to enjoy himself and if he picked up any prostitutes, make sure that he doesn't give me anything they got." Sadie chuckled, almost forcefully, noting the tension hanging in the air.

"Aw, what can he give you that you don't already have?" Max asked innocently. Sadie rolled her eyes, unamused by her tenant's perversion, and punched his arm. Hard. Max rubbed his arm, stuck out his lower lip, and said, "Well, the truth can be devastating."

Prudence held back a laugh, knowing that Sadie would swing at her too. Finally she turned to Jude. "So... what made you finally realize that being with Max was what you wanted?"

Jude's face turned red as he answered nervously, "It was just... something clicked. Michelle said something about moving to California and having Max go with her, and I... I just realized that he couldn't go. He couldn't leave me." He fiddled with his beer bottle. "And I just realized that I loved him, and I shouldn't have to be so scared anymore." Jude shrugged. "It's tough to explain. I mean, you two obviously knew it was going to happen at some point."

"Well, not really, no, I actually thought that Max and Michelle would make a good--" Prudence let out an _oomph _as Sadie's elbow rammed into her side, making her realize her stupid mistake. Prudence blushed and added quickly, "I mean, yeah, of course I knew."

Jude rolled his eyes and looked over at Max, who had his eyes on a nearby waitress bending over. When Sadie noticed this, she kicked Max's leg under the table, and when he turned his attention back to the group, he shrugged. "Old habits die hard."

Sadie rolled her eyes. "_You_'ll die hard if you don't stop oogling over other women while your boyfriend is around." Sadie paused. "Wow. Never thought I'd say _that _sentence."

Jude, hardly the jealous type, only chuckled at the situation, ruffling Max's hair affectionately. Max kissed his cheek as a way of saying _Don't worry, no matter what I'm yours. _

Sadie and Prudence smiled at each other when they watched this short but sweet display of affection.

Sadie smirked as she realized a little bet she had made so long ago at her party, which was, of course, when the closet incident had happened. "Jojo totally owes me fifty bucks."

000000

Later that night, as the four of them drunkenly made their way home, it was an obvious decision that Jude would be spending the night with Max.

After the boys barely mumbled out a "goodnight" to their roommates, Max eagerly pulled Jude into his room. All night while the girls had been babbling on and on, they had no clue that Jude and Max had been playing little games underneath the table. Jude would casually rub his hand over Max's jeans, smirking at him seductively as he did so, and Max would casually tug at Jude's shirt, with eyes full of want, and making it very clear that he had to have him soon.

So there they were, drunkenly pulling off each other's clothes, placing sloppy yet hot kisses all over their bodies. Max pushed Jude on top of the bed, his hands quickly working at the belt on Jude's hips. Max was horny, there was no doubt about it, and when Max was horny, he was an animal: no amount of clothing, fabric, accessories, or anything would get in the way of what he wanted. Pleasure.

Jude let out a moan as Max grazed his hand over Jude's erect penis, which was now only being covered by a flimsy pair of boxers, which had pink hearts all over them. Max, even in his state of hunger, had to pause and laugh.

"Cute." Max muttered as he began to graze over the penis more and more, teasingly. Jude cursed himself. Why did he make the fatal mistake of wearing boxers? Who needs them? They were only a wall between him and Max's perfect hands and pleasure. Fucking undergarments.

"I'm not sure I want to see them taken off." Max said tauntingly. Jude arched his back and moaned.

"Bastard, you know what I'll do to you if you.." Jude stopped his horny rant when Max finally removed the boxers and began to tentatively stroke Jude. "..stop that."

Jude moans quickened and got louder as Max's strokes started to increase in pace, and Jude knew what was about to happen in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, Max, I think I left a pair of socks in here," Jojo, who had apparently come back from his night out, waltzed right into the room, swinging open the door at the exact moment Jude had released himself. Jojo froze as he saw more of Jude than he had ever, ever, ever needed to see, and most of all, he was in shock because it was indeed Max causing it.

The boys looked over at Jojo. This was something that could easily go number one on a list of things that would make somebody die of embarrassment.

Jojo quickly shut the door, realizing he had been lingering too long, but before Max and Jude heard his footsteps fade off, they heard Jojo mutter, "Dammit, I owe Sadie fifty bucks."

00000

**So yeahh. **

**P.S- Very first attempt at smut (or whatever you would call that..) and I'm pretty sure it's not very good. But oh well. Sorry if sex scenes aren't my expertise. **

**Anyways, new chapter will be up soon.**


	17. Words of Love

"...and I love the smile on your face whenever you eat a bowl of cereal.. I know it sounds weird, but you just look so damn happy, it makes me feel good inside."

"Mhm. Go on, Jude.."

Jude chuckled and shook his head. They had spent the entire morning in bed, Jude holding Max in his arms, and Max had asked Jude to name every little thing he loved about him. After the usual 'Well, I love your smile, your amazingly good looks, your quirky personality..' Jude had been forced to go into extreme detail. In fact, he had actually said something along the lines of, _I love the way you laugh every Thursday at lunch.._ no matter how strange it was, it made Max feel like the happiest person alive.

"Do I really have to, mate?"

Max pretended to sound hurt. "Have you actually run out of reasons to love me?"

Jude stroked Max's hair gently. "Of course not, love. There are too many reasons in the world to love you. It's just... well, it's a long list."

"I have time."

Jude laughed, causing their bodies to shake a bit. "I've noticed, but why don't _you _tell me how much I'm lovable?"

Max grunted. "_Fine. _If I _have _to."

"You do."

"Well, I could name an extreme amount of things to love about you, but c'mon, that's a little bit girly--"

"Your bloody ass made me do it for you--" Jude interjected, but it went by ignored.

"--_so_ I'll just tell you the number one thing about you that makes me a complete person." Max shifted his body, so that he was face to face with Jude. "You see, when you get uncontrollably happy, you grin. But sometimes, you get so happy, the grin just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And then... you bite your lip."

Jude's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"It's when you bite your lip when you're grinning." Max shrugged. "Seriously, you have no idea how adorable that is."

Jude's lips curved upwards. "I see. I'll be sure to do it more often then." Then Jude's eyes sparkled. "But are you _sure _you don't want to flatter me more? I'd certainly enjoy it."

Max smirked. "Jude, really. You shouldn't be so egotistical. It doesn't suit you." Max stretched his arms. "It _does_, however, fit me perfectly, so keep it coming, oh my dear darling." Max added in a sing song voice.

Jude was about to argue, but there was no point. He _wanted _to tell Max everything he loved about him. It sounded corny, and unbelievably girly, but it didn't matter. "Okay then, fine... I love the look on your face whenever you see me. You brighten up, and suddenly, you're glowing."

Max blushed, which was another thing Jude would add to his list, and said, "Well, you do it too."

"But I'm sure it doesn't look as good as it does on you."

"True.."

Jude suddenly kissed Max, just out of complete desire, and Max, even in confusion, kissed him back as best as he could. When they pulled apart, Jude said, "Okay, and I love the way you kiss when you're caught off guard."

"You tease." Max grumbled, but smiled. Then he glanced around. "How long have we been laying in bed?"

"A good three hours." Jude yawned a bit. "But I'm a bit afraid to go out there, you know, at the risk of seeing Jojo."

"Well, at least there's nothing left up to the imagination now." Max teased, and Jude slapped him lightly on the head.

"So you're okay with other men picturing me naked?"

"Of course." Max leaned closer to Jude, so that his lips were practically touching his ear, which only led Jude to have a quick flashback of when the two of them were hiding out in the closet so long ago. "You see, they can imagine _all they want. _But I get the real thing."

Jude would've laughed, but the sound of Max's voice sent shivers throughout his body, and they were definitely the good kind. When Max was about to lean back, Jude did his usual knee-jerk reaction: he wrapped his arms around him and kept him in that position. It was just the way Max fitted so nicely into Jude's body...

"'S feels nice." Jude murmured absentmindedly.

"Mhm." Max murmured softly, which only made the shivers return. Max smiled to himself when he felt Jude's reaction. "Hmm. Didn't know I had such a good impression on you."

"You should've known that since the day I met you, love." Jude said, lightly running his hands up and down Max's bare back, noticing the goosebumps that appeared. "Your impressions are unforgettable."

"I try." Max's attempt at sounding nonchalant was blown when his voice wavered.

"Then again, I guess I left the same impression on you." Jude mumbled. "I mean, you did end up running back to me."

Max snorted. "Only out of fear. Don't you remember-- shoe polish and genitalia? And besides, you were the one who led me to safety."

Jude shrugged. "Yeah, only out of pity. Like you said, shoe polish and genitalia. I couldn't let that happen to _anyone._"

Max smirked. "But especially not me. And do you know why? Because _you _have loved me since the moment you saw me."

Jude mimicked Max's snort. "You were right—an overblown ego _does _suit you."

"Admit it, Judey. I had you at 'Oh, shit I dropped my books' didn't I?"

Jude rolled his eyes. "Sure you did."

Max laughed, and pulled pack far enough to observe Jude's soft features. He grinned. "Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?"

"No, but you should start."

Max smiled widely at him, and said the first words that came to mind. "I love you."

Jude, a bit taken aback at first, grinned and folded Max back warmly into his arms and mumbled, "I love you too."

After a moment or two in quiet, Max said, "Oh, and Jude?"

"Yes?"

"You know that adorable grin I told you about?"

Jude instinctively bit his lip. "Yeah.."

"You're doing it again."

**I feel so bad—it's my first update in god knows how long, and it's a fluffy filler chapter. But alas, the next chapter, the boys will have to face their exes, so you know _that's _going to be interesting... so please, stay with me until then!**


	18. Help Me Understand

A couple of hours later, Max and Jude _knew _what they had to do. It was tough for both of them, knowing they had to face the women they had been previously smitten with. But they also knew that they belonged together, and they didn't want to hurt anybody. They had already done enough of that.

Max had to tell Michelle.

Jude had to face Lucy.

And they both knew that today probably wouldn't be so grand. And if they both got their way, they would still be in bed, talking about everything and nothing, falling in love deeper every second. But this is life, and with life, you can't always get what you want.

"Good luck." They whispered to each other before parting in the street.

* * *

Max slowly approached Michelle's apartment, the words he had to tell her replaying in his head. As he knocked on the door, he felt his stomach drop. It dropped even more when Michelle answered the door, a bright smile on her face, her hair glimmering in the sunlight. Oh, she was beautiful. Max would miss that, her beauty, her charm. But there was another person in his life who could offer that and so much more...

"Hi, handsome," Michelle said, pulling Max into the apartment. She leaned in for a kiss, but when Max stood frozen in his spot, she raised her eyebrow. "What is it, Max?"

Max took a deep breath. "Michelle... we need to talk."

Her beautiful eyes widened. "Um. About what?"

Max wanted to be a man and have the strength to look into her eyes and tell her that he didn't love her, at least not as much she deserved to be loved, but he couldn't. He had to look on the floor, focusing on the random pieces of lint that were on the carpet. They wouldn't judge him as much as Michelle was bound to. "I... I don't think we're gonna work out."

"_What_?" Michelle's voice rose a bit. "Max, if this is about California, you don't _have _to come. I'll still love you, and I'll even stay here, and I'll--"

"Don't do that." Max looked at her face, but he made a point to avoid any actual eye contact. "It's just..."

"Is there somebody else?" Michelle crossed her arms, her voice wavering a bit.

Max cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair, and murmured, "Yes."

Michelle's beautiful, tearful eyes narrowed. "Who? Is it... is it Prudence? Has she _suddenly _decided to be straight? Huh? Or is it some whore from your apartment?" Michelle raised her voice higher. "Is it that slut Sadie? Is it?!"

Max's eyes widened. He knew she was angry, but to assume that it was Prudence and call one of his closest friends a _slut_? That was pretty low. He never expected that from Michelle. "No, it's not _them. _And Sadie isn't a slut, Michelle."

Michelle snorted a bit, which angered Max, and continued her blubbering rant, "So who is it then? Because I'm sure it's probably somebody I know, and you _know _Lucy will tell me eventually. So who is it? Ha! Is it Jude?" Michelle laughed without humor and glared at Max, but her face fell when she saw Max nod. She stopped laughing, and her face turned a bright shade of pink. "It _is _Jude, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Max said, unashamed. Something about the way she called his friends sluts and whores made him no longer afraid of her. This was a whole new side of Michelle, and he didn't care for it one bit. "Yeah, I'm... I'm in love with him."

"_What?_" Michelle whispered angrily. "You're leaving me... for a _guy_?"

"Well, it's not just any guy, it's ... Jude." In spite of the argument, he had to smile at the name. Jude. Jude. Jude...

"I can't believe this!" Michelle exclaimed, tossing her hands in the air. "So what? You're a queer? Have you loved him all along? The whole time you were with me?"

"Yes... but it's more complicated that it sounds, Michelle."

"Well, then I'll simplify it for you, dear." Michelle said sarcastically. "_You_ were in love with Jude, you dated me any way, and suddenly, you two homos want to be together, and I'm kicked to the fucking curb. Am I getting this right?"

Max glared at her. "Michelle, you're being immature. You act like this is the first time anyone has ever broken up with you."

Michelle paused, looked deep into Max's eyes, and said, "Yeah, Max, I've been dumped before... but not by somebody I was actually _in _love with. You don't understand." She wiped a falling tear. "You were my first love, Max. And now, it hurts to know that you don't love me. And it's even worse to know that it's because of another _man._" She laughed ruefully a bit. "As if I didn't have enough competition with the rest of the girls in New York."

Max examined her crying, frail figure, then gently touched her shoulder. He whispered gently, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, there was no other girl but you. You will always be the most beautiful girl in New York." Then he smiled. "And now, California."

Michelle looked at him painfully, but forced a smile. "That doesn't help at all." She sighed. "But thanks." Then she shook her head and murmured, "I think you should go now, though."

"I think I should too." Max made his way towards the door. Before he left, though, he called, "Good luck in California though. If you see Doctor Robert, tell him that I think that he fucked us over."

Michelle smirked in spite of herself. "Max, it's 1970. You haven't seen the guy in three years. I don't think that scene will be around anymore."

Max chuckled a bit, walked out of the apartment, but never looked back.

* * *

Jude made sure that he went to Lucy's work when she was on break, and like clockwork, when he walked over to the diner, he saw Lucy standing outside, a cigarette in her hand, gazing off softly. When she saw him, she visibly tensed, her lips forming into a straight line, her eyes shadowed a bit. Jude stood next to her in uncomfortable silence for awhile. Finally, he looked at her and forced a smile onto his face.

"Lucy, are you going to speak to me?"

"I'm not going to give you the silent treatment for not loving me." Lucy looked back at him, taking a drag of her cigarette. "But I don't exactly want any details."

"I understand. I just... I don't want things to be awkward for us." Jude smirked a bit when Lucy offered an amused expression. "Well, okay, I don't want us to be awkward forever."

"We won't be, Jude." Lucy replied quietly. "I'll get used to this. I have to. He's my brother, you're my... er, friend, I guess... and I have to be cool. It's just too soon to expect everything to be okay between us, though."

Jude sighed. "I know. And I _do _love you, Lucy, it's just--"

"You're not _in _love with me?" Lucy smirked in spite of herself. "Jude, I understand. You don't have to continue."

"You do?"

Lucy shrugged a bit as she sighed. "Okay, maybe I _don't _understand. At least not yet. Give me time Jude. Don't expect so much so soon." Lucy looked at the ground. "I'm not over this. I'm still mad, very mad, but I can't hate you or Max for loving each other. Just.." Lucy tried to search for the right words to make the following words not sound so cruel, but there was no other way to put it, "can you get your stuff from the apartment sometime when I'm not there?"

Jude caught his breath a little, then muttered, "Yeah, sure. I'll, ah, come by for it tomorrow."

_Awkward. And harsh. _

They stood around in silence, until once again, Jude spoke, "I just... I want you to know that you'll never lose me, okay?"

"You make it sound easy, Jude." She sighed, then glanced at her watch. "I'm off my break. I have to go. Bye."

They didn't know whether to hug or just wave, so they evened it out by awkwardly shaking hands, but before Lucy went inside the diner, Jude said, "I'm glad we talked."

Lucy shook her head, causing a strand of blond hair to fall in her face. "It doesn't make any difference." Then disappeared inside the restaurant.

* * *

Jude arrived at Sadie's apartment shortly later, only to realize that everyone else had gone out—except, of course, for Max.

Jude loved how it felt to come home and plant a kiss on Max's lips before resting beside him on the couch, which always felt more comfortable when Max was beside him. Jude loved the way Max's head always seemed to find the perfect spot on Jude's chest, and he loved the way Max said, "I can hear your heart beating faster." He loved the way Max seemed to hum a little bit, which would tickle Jude's chest. And Jude loved fiddling around with Max's hands, or whispering sweet little things to him. And of course, Max would eventually close his eyes and drift off (which, of course, Jude loved) and Jude would just sit there and realize how good it was.

But most of all, Jude loved knowing that he could do this everyday, and he loved knowing that no matter how much life could shit on him, he could always come home to the beautiful blond that seemed to always find the perfect way to fit with Jude.

Oh yes. Jude loved it.

* * *

**This chapter is blahh. Even _I _was expecting more from the whole confronting the exes situation, and I'M THE ONE WHO WROTE IT. Oh well. Maybe the next chapter will please your souls? **

**P.S-- When Michelle says that it's 1970, I figured that was a safe year to make this story take place, because I heard somewhere that _Across the Universe _took place between 1966-1969, so I thought that 1970 would be a safe year, no? And you can tell by Lucy's clothing at the end of ATU that the seventies were coming... or is that just me?**


	19. Christmas Visit

**You seriously thought I was done.**

**Even though it's been over a year since my last update.**

…**don't worry, I thought I was too.**

* * *

"Okay, so, how exactly are you going to explain this to Mom and Dad?" Lucy crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "You _know_ they're going to flip."

"Yes, Lucy, I know." Max replied, frowning slightly. "But they have to understand that it's my life. If I want to marry Jude, I will."

Lucy smiled a bit. "I just can't wait to see the look on Dad's face. It's going to be priceless." Lucy glanced over at Jude. "What do you think?"

"I just want the truth to be out already. Hiding this engagement is horrible." Jude rubbed his forehead, and smiled over at his ex-fiancé/future sister-in-law. "Thanks for being such a good help. I have no idea what we would do without you."

The train came to a halt and the trio glanced at each other.

"I think we're back in Kansas, Toto." Max proclaimed.

* * *

"Lucy!" Mrs. Carrigan first embraced her daughter. "Oh, you're so beautiful! And so mature!" Then she moved onto her son. "Oh, Max! You're such handsome young man!" And then she smiled at Jude. "And Jude, my children's god-send. Still as handsome as ever." She touched his face. "I'm so glad you guys came for Christmas."

Mr. Carrigan simply kissed Lucy's cheek and gave Max an awkward hug and shook Jude's hand. Mrs. Carrigan ushered them inside, smiling wide. "Oh, I'm so happy! It's been so long since my beautiful children have been back home. Your rooms have been kept perfectly in place, by the way."

"_Max! Lucy!_" The siblings recognized the happy call of their younger sister, Julia. She was fifteen now, and she ran down the stairs to hug her brother and sister. Max squeezed her tight, kissing her cheek, which obviously brought a wide smile to Jude's face. God, he loved Max. "Jules, kid, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Max." Julia couldn't stop smiling as she moved to Lucy, who gently hugged her and smiled. "Lucy, you're so pretty."

Lucy laughed. "You're so gorgeous, Julia. You must have a boyfriend, right?"

Julia blushed deeply and nodded. Max grinned. "Great. What's his name, and can I take him?"

Julia playfully swatted her brother's arm and looked at Lucy. "Oh, Luce, I want you to see a picture of him!" She grabbed her sister's hand and dragged her up the stairs. Lucy looked back at the boys and smiled helplessly.

"She's adorable," Jude commented, looking at Max. When he was sure the Carrigans weren't looking, Jude placed a brief kiss on Max's lips. "Just like you."

Max blushed feverishly and resisted the urge to press Jude against the wall and kiss every inch of him. His dirty thoughts were interrupted by his father's low voice. "Max, how's your job going? Cab driver, right?"

_Yes, you pretentious bastard, I'm a cab driver. I drive around everybody, and I especially stop for foreigners, homosexuals, and everyone else you're against, and I have a bumper sticker that proclaims peace and love. How about that? _"It's going fine. Just the typical thing."

"Uncle Ted told me that Desmond--your old high school friend--just got to be CEO of a international company. Well, what do you know?"

_Desmond's a closeted homo. He tried to make out with me freshman year. Well, what do _you _know?_ "Great. Remind me to congratulate him."

"Jude," Mr. Carrigan turned to the artist. "Did you know that Max could've taken over his grandfather's company? Could've been a _millionaire. _Could've had anything he ever wanted."

_But I already do._ "Leave Jude out of this," Max snapped. "I'm fine. Unlike you, I don't need money to be happy."

"You know, Max took classes at the nearby college for awhile." Jude chimed in. "We discovered he's great in literature. I mean, we're all going to chip-in to get him a typewriter."

"How nice of you." Mrs. Carrigan stepped into the conversation now, smiling kindly at Jude.

"…could've had everything." Mr. Carrigan said softly, as if _he _was the one losing out.

"I have everything I need." Max said firmly. "Now, we're going to go up to my room."

Max and Jude walked up the staircase, leaving behind a bewildered Mrs. Carrigan and an annoyed Mr. Carrigan.

"You're sexy when you're defensive." Jude whispered as he shut the door.

"Thanks for helping, by the way," Max smiled at Jude. He leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. Jude, in return, leaned over and deepened the kiss, and began to stroke Max's neck. "Mm, Jude, don't get me turned on right now…"

Jude's eyes were in sexy-mode right now. They were half open, and his lips were pursed, waiting for Max's response. "Oh Jesus, I can't resist you." Max kissed him passionately, grabbing a handful of his shirt, and pulling him down. Max groaned as he felt Jude's hand slip up his shirt.

"Oh, Max, I forgot to tell you…" Mrs. Carrigan opened the door wide, distractedly speaking, before looking down at the two boys. "Oh, my.."

* * *

**Filler chapter. SORRY. Busy busy busy.**


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